for all of the innocent souls who were raped, sexually harassed, abused, or assaulted. I believe you, and I believe in you-
in the woods. shower. classroom closet. your own bed. it can happen anywhere. a person can take advantage of your naked self in the shower, or your sleeping form, tucked under the blanket, or maybe they will go for the young girl in the woods looking for her lost dog.
doesn't matter where they do it. without a clear "yes" , it is wrong. disgusting. and illegal.
that'll stop them, right? a threat to be put into jail. no, it won't stop them. they will just become more "careful". they will just work harder to not get caught.
they will hide the proof, the remains of it ever happening, they will even hide the body if they need to.
then there are the ones who are being used and don't even realize it. a silent answer, or no answer at all, is not a yes. a giggle, drunk or not, is not a yes. a "yes", is a yes. a nod of the head because you are too scared to say no, or because you are shaking too much and they take it as a yes, is not a yes.
being silent, or not telling them to stop because you are scared, that isn't a yes either.
because they will ruin you. you will sob in your shower, for weeks, months, maybe even years. you'll scream and cry when you wake up because all you see is their face and what they did to you. you'll shake, tremble, and pray that the guy who is standing a bit too close next to you on the bus, won't touch you. you'll hear jokes about it, and when you feel sick to your stomach and ask them to stop joking about it, you'll become the laughing stock for them. the police won't believe you, because where is the proof? and if you were wearing shorts, you were clearly asking for it. and if you didn't yell for them to stop, you were clearly wanting it. it doesn't matter if you were being held down, or if you were just too terrified to tell them to stop, it is always your fault. somehow. someway.
and you'll learn to stay quiet. you'll still flinch away from people who give off that vibe, but you'll keep your mouth shut. you'll go crazy inside, panicking, and screaming in your mind. you'll want to be far far away from them.
and when you hear "consent is sexy!" you will feel sick. because lingerie is sexy. consent is a basic human right.
and then there are the friends who don't understand what you went through. sure, they will make you smile, but they don't know about the hell you survived.
the hell you went through, it overheated you. overheated your mind. your soul. boiling temperatures against your skin, making you spew lava. hell made you.
the hell you went through made you cold. now you're just a body with pale skin, blue lips, and cold hands.
and there will be people who will say, "not all men are like that." yes, you are right. not all men will shove himself into you, treat you like a rag doll, and break you. only one out of three will.
but not all men. only one-third.
so when I say, "my body is mine," I mean, my body is mine. I mean, you can not touch me because you feel like it.
my body is mine, like how your bruises are for you to poke, and mine are for you to stay away from.
but someday. someday, you will be able to look at the house it happened in. you will be able to walk past those woods. you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and you will breathe.
but it might not be tomorrow. or the next day. or the next.
because wounds take time to heal, but the scar takes longer to disappear.
