Animus // Harry Styles

Edging ever closer to zero

His eyes – how could I ever forget them? They were viridescent pits, filled with life, love and zeal. So compelling and endlessly complex, that his stare left in its wake, a raging fire. Our souls were one, bound together by the universe, but it was not that simple. Life never is.

**

A tidal wave of holy fuck, coursed through my body, as I glared at the glass panelled station doors. Trying to ignore the inevitable - the zero that would soon replace my ticking clock - I sighed. The damp London air surging through the building, caused my body to shiver. How I had ended up in this forsaken station, was entirely a mystery, but it did not matter. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I stood gingerly behind the white line of the platform, my thoughts already consumed by the boy I was fated to meet. Part of me feared that after today, he would always race, like a stimulant, through my subconscious. I stole a brave glance at my wrist.

Two minutes, seven seconds. My thick lashes shadowed my hazel eyes, as they traced the imprinted numbers on my lower arm. The action, as it always did, caused an involuntary spasm to tremble my hand. This was the moment I had spent my entire life in anticipation of. My small feet paced along the floor, the heels of my shoes clanking, soon became an audible annoyance. The middle-aged woman beside me disapprovingly shook her head.

“Sorry” I muttered. The flickers of grey in her otherwise, jet black hair stood out, as she abruptly turned her head away. My nerves were already on their last ends and her response made me want claw at her face. Rude bitch.

One minute, thirty one seconds. The crackled paint on my finger nails moved as a comb, brushing through my mess of brown hair. A thin layer of perspiration formed along my brow and I quickly wiped it away using the back of my hand. My thoughts returned to him, and I wondered how his lips would move when he spoke my name.

A metallic train came to a halt, the screech of its brakes electrifying the tracks, causing my ears to ring.

Fifty eight seconds. A jolt of panic erupted in my chest, forcing my heart to pick up its pace. It was so close, that I could not contain my conflicted emotions. The carriage doors eased open, as the boarding sign was called out. My body stood rigid, as if my feet were cemented to the ground. It was not the universes intention to have me board that train. For somewhere within the dingy building, my soulmate was.

Forty six seconds. The ever quickening throb of my heart, now combined with an invisible gravitational pull, a sign meant to tell me that he was near. No matter how hard I tried, my mind refused to contort an image of him. I bravely reached for my pocket mirror. My appearance reflected straight back at me and I wished I had made more of an effort. But I knew he wouldn't mind.

Twenty seconds. The once relatively full platform, has dispersed, the people pushing their way onto the train. Normally I would be happy to avoid the fiasco, but today the emptiness surrounding me, made me feel vulnerable. I placed the mirror into my bag.

A lanky, old ticket man, stood at the head of the train. Scratching his stubbled beard, I could feel his gaze and the questioning look projected across his face.

“Are you not getting on Miss? There won't be another until this evening” he spoke with a strong cockney accent.

“No, it's okay. I'm waiting for someone” I smiled tentatively, the pit of my stomach twisting and turning.

“Okay, well you have a good day” he responded, before quickly disappearing.

Three seconds. I closed my heavy lids tightly together. My emotions had heightened, reaching an unbearable level. I forced my shoulders to relax, taking a deep breath in and out. Contemplating for a single moment, how my life was about to change forever.