My heart is missing something that will never come back. There will always be that space, waiting hopefully for him to come back, even if he is not going to. It's that space that can be filled specifically of stuff related to that one person. No matter how good your time may be with someone else, you will always want that person to be back in your life. It's unfair. First they teach you how to be happy feels like, and then they leave and you can not feel the same way for anyone else. No matter how many people you hooked up with and with how many you spent some good time, when you go home the only thing you keep doing is wishing him to be yours again. Or maybe..was he ever? Why you left? Wasn't I enough? You didn't even have to try. Was really the distance the problem? I would be the one to come even in your own place for like 10 minutes just to see you, to touch you, to stare at your smile and kiss you. Whenever you wanted me to. Maybe you didn't want it. At least not as much as I did. One of the sad parts is that I thought you did. Not because you said it, but because of the way you were treating to me and your actions. This is why I believed it with so faith. I just let myself loose, too loose. I felt so secured with you as if we would be together for a long time. But do you know what I have noticed? My story with you felt like a fairytale, and every fairytale ends up like shit, people just remake the storys in order to have a happy-ending story to tell their kids, but we are not kids, are we? So, I can't pretend like our fairytale had a happy ending, because it hadn't. I fell for you, you left me, the end. I feel like shit without you, unable to feel anything for anyone. This is not who I am, I did not use to be like this ever before. This is not only you I lost, I lost myself. Even if I try to convince myself that I may have feelings for someone, my subconscious is gonna prove me wrong. My mind wants you, as much as my heart does. I want you. I have tried everything to forget you, it's not that I didn't try. Maybe I didn't try hard enough? I don't think so. There is nothing left to do as a try for me to forget about you, or at least think about you without having any feelings. That's the difficult part. It's been almost a year. Since August. And I feel like it was yesterday when I was in your arms. So, how much time will be needed in order your memory to fade away? I really have to move on, not just practically.
