ryan was frozen, staring at the ceiling as thoughts circled his mind. he thought about how nice his relationship was, but it slowly shifted into a bunch of bad 'what if's. he could feel his breathing getting shorter as his mood continued to drop and tears stung his eyes.
he could feel the boy next to him move to face him and he could see the worry in his eyes. "what's wrong, ryan?" the voice was almost a whisper, quiet, but soft, and ryan shook gently, not wanting to worry him.
hands reached out, wiping his eyes as gently as they could before cupping his face. "it's just me, sweetheart." ryan shut his eyes, trying to muster up the words to talk to the smaller boy, who was still wearing his concerned expression.
"can you hold me?" his voice was quiet and shaky as he finally spoke, but he received a nod regardlessly. tan arms snaked their way around his waist and ryan whimpered, lightly touching his boyfriend's arms. "you're the best, ev.." the older mumbled.
"wrap your legs around me, baby.." evan murmured, letting go of the bigger boy's waist so he could help wrap his legs around him. ryan hugged him, pulling himself towards the other, and wrapped his legs around evan, whose arms returned back to their original spot. "can i have a kiss?" he asked gently, his expression soft so the older wouldn't feel like he had to.
ryan nodded his head slightly, tilting his face downwards so he was almost fully facing him. evan cupped his face, leaning forwards and grazing their lips together lightly before properly kissing him. "i don't deserve you.." ryan whimpered against evan's lips, which made the canadian boy grasp his waist gently and pull away.
evan's expression was laced with concern and ryan hugged him, burying his face into the raven haired boy's neck. "what're you talking about, baby?" the young boy asked, his arms wrapping around the older and holding him as close to his chest as he could. ryan didn't budge, his arms locked tightly around the canadian's waist so he wouldn't have to face the boy and evan didn't move him, not wanting him to get even more upset. there was a short pause between them before evan spoke up again, "i love you, ry." his voice was low, but ryan could feel him speaking against his ear and he blushed.
evan went silent once again, comfortable with it and decidedly not pushing ryan to talk because he was patient. ryan was a blushing mess over the male's shoulder from the tickling feeling from the confirmation that he still loved him regardlessly. evan's hands returned to his waist as he hummed soft compliments into his ear until the older boy was fully relaxed in his arms. "im not gonna force you to tell me anything.." evan promised, pulling away from the brunet so he could cup his face.
"thank you.." ryan was quiet and evan smiled at him, pressing a small kiss to his lips. ryan's arms made their way around evan's waist as they kissed again, which made evan laugh lightly and let go of his face so he could wrap his arms around him. "i love you." ryan said softly, his eyes closing groggily and evan smiled as he hugged him.
•~~•
not gonna lie, this was kind of a vent fic. soz.
