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Crazy | Amon X Reader

Crazy | Amon X Reader

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

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As you retracted back your kagune from your shoulders, your eyes changed from their unusually dark abyss of death to the normal human light hazel eyes. The scent of the metallic iron from the blood on your shirt made you frown, but you didn't really bother about cleaning it up.

After all, what's a ghoul supposed to do after she's killed a hundred humans that were trying to hunt her down? 

Stepping out into the sun, your black curly hair bounced on your shoulders from your movement, a result of the tough love from yesterday night's conditioner. Your white blouse rippled in the wind, annoying you slightly but you merely kept a straight facen as you watched the man standing right in front of you with his quinque. 

His quinque, Doujima 1/2, looked kind of heavy in his hands and you ticked that off your list of criteria for men. 

Check: Guy who actually looks capable, and is capable.

The judging eyes from you made him shifty with nervousness and anxiety and you chuckled at that sort of action. To you, it was kind of cute how he was blushing madly in front of you, and yet still had the strength to be able to keep on guard.

" Amon-kun!" you chirped out, walking towards him while he moved back with every step that you took towards him. Even though you hated to admit it, but you still felt a little hurt by the rejection.

Just because you were a ghoul didn't mean that you were any different than any other human.

Just because you had to eat the flesh of humans to survive didn't mean you liked and wanted to eat the flesh of humans. 

Just because you were a ghoul, didn't mean that you were incapable of feelings.

If ghouls weren't meant to exist on this world, then why was it so twisted that they were so similar to humans?

How come you would fall in love so easily, like characters in all those stories, and get hurt so easily by just one sign of rejection?

" Don't say my name!" Amon screamed as he wielded his quinque, and then moved to attack you, the lance slightly scraping your skin when it pierced through your dark blue jeans.

The trickle of blood made your eyes cloud, the darkness swirling as if fighting to form but you still didn't dare to use your kagune for fear of hurting him. After all, you weren't even sure to what extent your kagune had mutated from all the different potent RC cells from the other ghouls that you consumed to prevent yourself from feeding on humans, and most importantly, him.

" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie! I just -!" you shout and then stumble to one side, being caught unaware as his quinque stabs into your arm and pins you against the wall. As you squirm, you're caught in the midst of two battles. One with Amon and then other with her. 

" Please don't force me to-!" you mumble before screaming out in agony as Amon presses his quinque against your wrist, severing the tendons and muscles time and again before they can regenrate. 

Your vision blurs, your crystal clear hazel eyes covered under the mist of death and resignation, the souls and blood of those deceased clouding your vision. Your RC cells harden behind your back, forming a wide butterfly shaped kagune that had sharp tiny spikes that were akin to hooks. All you can see is a flurry of movement and then hear shattering with tiny pieces of quinque embedded into your skin.

" I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." you mutter continously under your breath even though you know it can't reach anyone else. Blood streams down your face through your eyes and falls onto Amon's quinque before being absorbed in.

You know you were most probably crazy in front of him right now, but you couldn't help it. The genetic mutation was taking its toll on you and you couldn't control the transformation of your kagune. Every single time you switched to becoming a ghoul, it was as if you wanted more bloodshed than ever.

Amon stares at your crazed form, your kagune piercing through your own skin and embedded itself into your own flesh and muscle, the hooks tugging on and then ripping off repeatedly.

Your vision clears a little, but not that much and you know you only have so much left before you become engulfed in insanity.

" Amon-kun, please run!" You shriek, and then your kagune attacks full-fledged at your own body, every single wound healing before being cut again and again. 

Amon crumbles, grabbing his case and then moves out, knowing that it wasn't wise to continue staying on in that state of yours. His feet crumble underneath him and his knees fall onto the floor, tears streaming down his face while his hand grabs onto his quinque until his hand starts to bleed.

The constant cries of begging and screaming followed by maniacal laughter from you in the distance fill his ear, but he can't bring himself to do it. He can't bring himself to end it all because inside, he still wanted to see you smile once more for him. he couldn't bring himself to watch it.

This descent into madness.