A Fresh Start

She's Leaving Home

Ok Marie, deep breaths. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror trying to calm my racing heart. Finding myself sufficiently calmed I turned to face my room, only to feel another wave of panic wash over me upon seeing my suitcases neatly arranged on my floor. What was it that Dr. Thompson had said, I tried to remember the techniques that the therapist had taught me for situations like these. After a good five minutes, I lifted myself off the bed that was no longer mine and headed for the stairs.

At the bottom of the staircase I saw Gloria, my new guardian. Just seeing her mane of blond curls sent me tumbling back into the past. It was only a few days ago that my life had completely fallen apart. I had gotten home from soccer tryouts exhausted, but satisfied with the knowledge that I had won the title of captain this year. It was quite late, and I was shocked to see that the house was dark and empty. I took out my phone, only to see that there was still no response to my previous text I had sent telling my parents that I'd be home late. That should have been enough to tell me that something was wrong. My parents and I were as close-knit as a family could be, especially my mom and me. She had me young and was my closest confidant, and I was her's, or so I thought.

I had told myself that I was overreacting, that everything was fine, and that my parents were probably just at the company working late. They probably got caught up in paperwork and didn't notice my texts. They had both been on edge lately, at the time I thought it was because the company was suffering from some financial issues. I reassured myself with these thoughts and after my shower, I settled in with a bowl of popcorn and turned on Netflix.

I still remember the shock and fright I felt when I was jolted awake by the sound of a fist pounding against the door. I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for my parents, and the tv cast an eerie glow around the dark living room. I crept over to the door and peeked through the peephole and sighed with relief when I saw the police officer standing on my doorstep. I didn't recognize the signs in my sleepy stupor, I didn't think about the reasoning behind the police officer's arrival. I was only relieved that I would not have to fight off a burglar. I opened the door and the tall man looked down at me with a mixture of pity and suspicion. He asked me if my name was Marie Thomas and if my parents were Julie and Riley Thomas. I confirmed with a nod of my head, at the time it seemed as though my mouth had lost the ability to form words. "I'm very sorry Marie, but your parents are dead." the officer said with cool indifference. I stared up at him with shock and disbelief coloring my features, but that wasn't all he had to say. As though completely shattering me wasn't enough, the universe seemed to feel the need to stomp on the pieces left intact. "We have reason to believe that your parents are not the legit businesspeople they have pretended to be. Your parents died in the basement of one of their companies factories where a crystal meth explosion took place. Most of those killed were employees, employees that we found no record of in the companies files. I'm sorry miss but we have to take you in for questioning, you will want to pack a bag." He said it so fast, it was as though he thought that if he could say it fast enough it would lessen the hurt.

"So my parents, t-they're gone?'' I asked with a trembling voice, I was hoping that this was somehow a cruel joke or nightmare, but when I looked into the officer's eyes I could see the pity in them. "Yes Marie, I'm so sorry for your loss." Suddenly I couldn't catch my breath, my breath came out in pants. I was never going to see them again, they were gone. My mom wasn't going to help me pick out my prom dress, and my dad was never going to walk me down the aisle. I would never cuddle with them on the couch and watch stupid movies ever again. I started seeing spots, and I could faintly hear the officer asking me if I was alright, but I wasn't alright, I was alone, and then everything went black.

I woke in a hospital and was greeted by the sight of the white walls and machinery. That's when the flood of memories hit me, my parents, their lies, and their death. I dimly registered the entry of a nurse who was mumbling something about a panic attack and going into shock. "Marie, Marie, did you hear what I said?" I turned to face the nurse who had spoken to me. "Sorry, what?" She gave me an apologetic look and repeated what she had said before. "Dear you had a panic attack and went into shock. I want to know what you remember about last night, can you run through the evening for me?" Was I really at soccer practice just last night, blissfully oblivious to everything that would soon tear my life from my hands. "Umm, well I came home from practice and nobody was home so I waited up on the couch but I fell asleep, then an officer knocked on the door and he said, s-said" I hesitated and tried to push the tears I could feel welling up in my eyes down. "I'm sorry honey, but I need you to finish your statement." I nodded and continued, my voice sounded thick withheld in emotion. "He told me about my parent's drug selling, and how it was an explosion in one on their secret labs that killed them." I looked down at my lap and felt the shame well up in my body. "They were't the only ones in there were they." The nurse looked at the ground "I'm sorry dear but it's really not my pl-" "Please I need to know." The nurse looked at me and I could see her resolve weakening. "There were twelve people working in the factory, no survivors were found." I felt my breath catch in my throat: twelve families that were broken and grieving, twelve families that my parents had torn apart. "I'm so sorry hon, I've got to go get the doctor now." She left with one last look at me over her shoulder.
A few minutes later a woman came in with a man and a woman following her.  "Hello Marie, my name is doctor Roberts the doctor assigned to your case.  This is doctor Thompson, our resident psychologist" She said gesturing to the man on her left.  He looked at me with kind eyes and gave a little wave, "And this is Ms. Larson the social worker assigned to your case." I looked to the woman on her right.  She acknowledged me with a nod of her head and a brief smile. "Physically you are fine" the doctor continued, "I think it would make the most sense for doctor Thompson to take it from here." With a brief smile, she turned and walked out of the room.  After her departure the young man who I supposed was Dr. Thompson pulled up a chair.  He was young and had a very calm demeanor.  His features were nondescript, except for his eyes, which were an amber color I had never seen before.  "Marie as Dr. Roberts said my name is Dr. Thompson, but you can call me John, I am a psychologist and I want to talk to you about your panic attack." "Oh, that's why I'm here right, it's why I blacked out." I realized that without the panic attack I probably would be sitting in a police station, and was suddenly thankful to be sitting here with the kind-eyed man. "Yes, that is why you blacked out.  We were sure that when you awoke that you would be in shock, and that is why we took your statement when nurse Kathy came in." "Will I have to go to the police station?" I suddenly blurted out.  I couldn't stop thinking about all the movies where menacing police officers grilled suspects in blank rooms.  After everything, I didn't know if I could handle that. "No, I talked to Officer Robinson and he agreed that me talking to you would suffice." I felt a breath of relief that I hadn't realized I had been holding escape me. "Ok, what do you need to know?" I felt much better knowing that I wouldn't have to rehash the horrible night in a police station.  Dr. Thompson asked me questions about my parents, and what they were like before the incident, as well as any changes I recognized in their behavior.  I told him as much as I could, but I soon realized that the people I thought I knew better than anyone were strangers to me.  He also asked me questions about myself and taught me strategies to prevent future panic attacks. "Ok Marie thank you, here is my business card in case you need anything.  Now I'm going to let you talk to Ms. Larson for a while." I started when the woman stepped out from the corner she had been standing in. 

 My social worker was a severe-looking woman with brown hair streaked with grey, and slight wrinkles around her eyes and mouth.  She looked young, but it was as though the world had taken a toll on her. "Hello Marie, I'm very sorry for your loss."  Her voice was very impersonal not disingenuous, but simply detached. "The good news is that your parents were prepared for this sort of situation." I had no idea what she meant, my grandparents were dead, and both my parents were only children. "It looks like they have listed an old family friend named Gloria Renolyds as your guardian in case of their death." I looked at the woman with a look of shock, I knew very little about Gloria.  I knew she and my mother had been close throughout their teenage years, and I had a vague memory of a blond woman with a curly-haired toddler, but for her to be my new parent?  For me to live with her? It was crazy, I didn't even know where she lived. "We called her, and she took the first flight in from Portland." Well, I guess now I knew where she lived. I'd have to do some research on where the hell I'd be living.  A sharp ringing from a phone jolted me out of my thoughts and I looked to see this Larson woman pick up the call. "Oh she's here, well that's great, no, no, room 329, yes the south wing Jerry, ok bye." She disconnected the call and turned back to me. "Ms. Renolyds has arrived and she will be here soon." After that, she didn't make more of an effort to talk.  Maybe it was because she sensed my nervousness and need to process, or maybe it was just a lack of effort on her part.  Never the less a few minutes later the door opened to a tall blond woman who rushed in and hugged me.  "Marie you look so much like her."

"Marie sweetheart are you ready?" Gloria's voice jolted me from my memories and I wondered how long I had been standing on the stairs staring into space. "Yes, I suppose I am" and with that I walked out of my childhood home to embark on the journey to my new life.