Most people believe that Ace people are not on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and maybe we are not, and I'm not sure this is going to help anyone or not.
Hi, my name is Jackie Hamm and I am asexual. That is a sentence I have been terrified to say. I remember the day I realised for myself I was asexual and I remember all these questions running through my head and thoughts I couldn't even comprehend. But the biggest question was, "how am I going to tell my parents...?"
I know what you are thinking. It couldn't be that hard. It's not like you are coming out as gay/bisexual. And to that, you right. I have no idea what it is like to be part of a community that I so segregated and so discriminated against. But telling a mother she isn't going to be a grandmother. Or telling a brother he is never going to be an uncle. It's like breaking apart a family.
The ace community does have struggles, and being aromantic along with it, which I slowly found out I am after I came out, it's puts a weight on your shoulder. Society shoves down your throat that you are supposed to settle down and love with two kids and a dog in a beautiful white house with a white picket fence. But if I neither feel sexual attracted to someone nor romantically...how am I supposed to fit societies standards?
I remember coming out to my parents. They were in their bedroom, watching tv like any night. I come in and sit at the end of their bed. They didn't think anything of it because that wasn't unusual. I opened my mouth to say it a couple of times before I could actually get the words out. But finally I was able to say it, "mom, dad...im asexual." I told them. They look at me, no expression on their face. Soon my mom spoke.
"What is that?" She asks. She didn't try to make me laugh, but soon a smile formed in my face and I am laughing. I explained to her what an asexual was and my mom and dad just kept nodding along. They didn't interupt me or told me they don't accept me. They just at nodded. It was perfect. There was no yelling, no crying, just explaining and when I was done, I hugged them and went back to my room.
When I got back to my room, that's when the tears came out. Not sad tears, but tears of relief. A weight was taken off my shoulders and I felt free. Free of the burden of a secret. That night I cried myself to sleep...and it was the best sleep I had in a long time.
