Niall's P.O.V
You 2 are out of the band, Words that haunt my dreams, Words I never want to come true, so I keep my feelings to myself, I dont wanna ruin the band, or be rejected by Liam, I know for a fact that he's straight, that he will never love me, I look around my room, all of our awards filling the shelves, weve come so far in only 4 short years. im turning 20 in about 24 hours I smile thinking back to LiLi's 20th, I had planned the whole thing with his beautiful Girlfriend Danielle, and everything was perfect, other then the Fact the Liam was Kissing her instead of me, I guess i will eventually get used to the pain that fills my chest when he kisses her. But his Birthday was a complete sucesse, Brilliant, to be honest, We got him, the biggest cake on top with writing that said " You may have just turned 20, but you act 40" A smile creeping onto my lips, thinking about how he swiped his hand across the cake taking the writing off and throwing the frosting in my face, His laugh filling the air. "Earth to Niall" I hear Harrys voice interrupting my thoughts, " Hmm?" I groan he smiles and points to the drive threw window " Oh im not hungry " I mumble, All there jaws wide open " Whats wrong with Nialler" louis shouts , Jumping out of his seat shaking me . I burst into laughter, A smile creeps onto his face as he climbs back into his seat
I walk up to my flat that I share with Liam, I wonder if they remember my Birthday is tomorrow, Probably not, Im the least important in the band, I honestly feel that way, I sometimes dont even know why im in the band, Other then Liam, I dont feel welcomed by the boys, Harry and Louis are really close, And Zayn gets on well with the others, And then theres me, Hopelessly in love with a boy that will never love me. I sigh, and go over to my dresser, and grab a small black box, Grabbing the small blade out of it, I havent touched this since, my 18th birthday, when I told Harry That i liked Liam, I can still feel the stinging across my face from when Harry, slapped me, and called me disgusting, Tears Stream down my face, I got shut down by my best friend, who doesnt even talk to me anymore, I put the blade to my wrist, Press, Drag, Watch, Press, Drag ,Watch. The vicious cycle I have once again Have fallen into, I do this about 12- 13 more times, A smile across my face, Instant relief , I hear a knock at my door, " Nialler, Can I come in" I look over at the clock 12:01 am, " Shit" I mumble under my breath, before grabbing a hoodie, and opening the door, and there stands LiLi, With a cupcake, With a candle stuck in it " Happy Birthday" he says, A smile crossing his face, I hug him tightly, and grab the cupcake, splitting it in half, and handing him one if the 2 halves, " Niall... Is that blood" i look down at my sleeve, Fuck me, im honestly retarded, wearing a white sweater. which was now sporting a bright red sleeve " Umm.. No?" I answer quietly. He grabs my arm, and ,pulls up the sleeve, i pull my arm away as fast as i can, but honestly its far to late he knows, and this time he's going to make me get help. " Fuck Niall, Why are you doing this again?" His voice breaking as he says it and i dont say a word, I just break down in tears, sobs wracking my whole body, I Slide down the wall, honeslty want my blade again, But instead i get pulled into a hug " Shh Niall.. Its okay..Im going to get you help" He sooths, But his words dont help, they are the words i dont want to hear, I start crying harder.
This is stupid, I say as i walk down the halls to the rehab centre, great place to be dropped of at on your 20th birthday, I have to nurses walking me to my room, 213, I sigh and open the door, the walls are white and plain, as are the floors, and the bed, I feel so out of place, my room had bright Green and Blue walls, and a black bed spread, and pictures, art and awards, but these walls look so cold. so heartless, empty. exactly what I am now. Empty.
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So! First Chappie, What do you guys think? Leave a comment below, And suggestions, ALSO. Im going to choose one girl to be zayns BBG, so If you would like to be her, vote now! (: Lavvh you. xx
