Head Over Boots (Clexa AU)

Chapter 6: Blaze

The rains came heavy that summer. Wisps of clouds coalesced into dark, roiling storms, splitting the sky with flashes of light and claps of thunder. Even so, Lexa rested easy. The sheets of rain made the grass practically shoot up right before her eyes, and healthy grass meant a healthy herd.

Even so, the work on the ranch never stopped: branding the young calves, tending sick cattle, feeding calves by hand when they had to be quarantined away from their mothers, medical exams for the horses, maintaining the truck, repairing the roof after a storm, communicating with the buyers who would be taking the calves in just a few short months...

Lexa tried to imagine doing all of this on her own. She couldn't. She remembered what it had been like before Clarke, to work herself ragged each and every day, passing out at night and waking up just a few hours later to do it all over again. Although there was still so much to do, Lexa awoke each morning excited for the day... or maybe she was just excited to wake up to hear Clarke's slow breathing beside her, feel her hand resting heavily on her hip, roll onto her back and gently kiss Clarke awake.

It was all of the above. Clarke made her life easier in so many ways, with her academic knowledge of cattle that had transformed over the last year into practical knowledge; with her tireless work ethic and ability to make light of any situation, even if they found themselves caught in the rain and had to gallop back to the barn to avoid the worst of the storm; how Clarke chose to stay with her rather than return to her friends and family in Seattle; how Clarke could calm her with a touch, excite her with a look, love her with words and without equally.

Lexa didn't allow herself to wallow in past choices, but it was still difficult to forgive herself for almost ruining everything with Clarke. Especially when Clarke had been right, that there was a way to earn extra money for the ranch, that Lexa could be successful and happy all at the same time. It was the first time in her life that she felt like she had it all, everything that was important to her, finally, even if only for a short time.

Because Lexa knew what was important to Clarke. No, she wouldn't be content to stay on the ranch for the rest of her life. She had ambition, she had dreams, she didn't feel the ranch and it's soil and streams running through her veins. Lexa knew she would have to let her go.

(But not now... not for weeks yet. She could enjoy everything she had ever wanted until the very moment that Clarke was leaving.)

Until that time, Lexa would continue to marvel at how the sunlight danced in Clarke's hair, how her hips rose and fell in the saddle as she galloped across the grassland, how her smile brought Lexa more peace than she had ever known, how she made Lexa feel simultaneously vulnerable and empowered.

Until that time, Lexa would love her with everything that she had.

**********

Clarke's hand hovered over the gate's latch. "I just don't know if I'm ready for this."

Still on horseback, Lexa returned back around the three bulls, keeping them in a tight grouping in front of the gate. "Ready for what?"

Sighing, Clarke opened the gate that led to the other pasture, where the other cattle were grazing. Lexa only needed to close the distance with the bulls to encourage them through the gate. Although bulls were generally the least well-mannered cattle in the herd, they seemed to have no argument against moving closer to the heifers and cows. Clarke watched them go with a heavy expression.

"Clarke, what aren't you ready for?" Lexa asked, as she dropped to the ground beside Clarke. She tied the reins off to the post beside Clarke's horse and leaned backwards against the fence.

Clarke propped an elbow onto the fence and gazed out at the herd. "I feel like my baby is all grown up. It's like I've given birth to her and taught her how to speak and put her through school, and now..." Clarke's mouth wrenched to the side. "Dany's going to be buggered by a bull."