We miss you, Angel. (English)

I.

18/12/17
That girl's wandered for the streets of the small city, with a knot in the throat so large that him caused pain, and of time in when, each ten steps approximately, leggo sighs heavy trying silence its sorrow, looking impossible. For its nonexistent luck, of the nothing began a rain continuous, more not so strong, for the that decided continue with its way, going to now to the own home, observing the sky for mild seconds, feeling as the memories is apoderaban of its mind, the which was weak. Felt the knot of its throat scatter, although without disappear still, feeling as the tears created a way in its cheeks until join with the drops of rain. Denied slightly with its head and continued walking, after all missing little for arrive to its destination. Walked with the look in the soil for not more of fifteen minutes, in the which the tears cannot be paused, rather is created small spasms continuous, trying check the crying, in a intent failed, flagrantly. To the arrive to its home opened the door main, removing its shoes quickly for not soil and closed after of yes noting quickly that again is was single. Cleaned its face with the sleeves of its hoodie and walked until the kitchen, taking a bottle with water and the that thought that were leftovers of day previous, walked with these to its room and the left in the table of night. To the arrive to that place is accommodated on her bed, taking vaguely she's phone, entering on her favorite social media, to the arrive to the beginning of this noticed that the boy that admired was alive, for the which not doubted in enter to the transmission, observing in detail each detail of video, feeling happiness of see he on there, extremely smiling, and trying encourage to the other with conversations that could seem ridiculous before the view of the other, but that for she seemed things really relevant, for him helped to smile, thing that the returned important. Is held there for some minutes, drinking water of time in when, observing attentively to the boy, with luxury of details, commenting when was necessary, or rather, when understood something. Little after that direct ended, for the which decided take its computer, reviewing facebook of way fast, smiling cunning see various images of boy, sharing some and keeping the remaining, for then observe the hour. The clock indicated the 3am, and never knew how the time had past so fast, more decided ignore, closing its eyes calmly, just sleep inside of little all the days seemed equal, almost a routine, entered each day to the social media to see photos or information about the boy, for then continue with tasks and obligations, although its hour in the that wake him was feel a little more crestfallen, for little and nothing him left rest. Continued with that routine for months, and even years, reaching to such point in that its hours of sleep passed of be eight to few minutes or a hour when had sleep, or luck. As any day, awoke to the 6am, not for taste really, if not that its cellular emitted notifications each or three seconds, thing that him seemed extremely rare, that added with the people that him they asked what such is felt in that moment not helped much, for the which decided enter to the net social that him would give greater information, that in this case was twitter. All seemed be normal, for still not actualizaba the page nor had entered to tendencies, but to the do something inside of she is destroyed, more thought of form positive and read that article, as its face is deformaba each time more before the impact, wanted search other article, other fountain of information or something similar, finding hundreds of these, reading apiece. Not knew how nor when the tears began to go out, simply the noticed when the thing technological is filled of small drops, the which in little time is converted in a crying hopeless, trying understand the context of that situation. While was trying to calm down and recover its respiration normal through several sighs heavy, cleaning also its eyes continuously, off the apparatus of moment, observing the around of its room, setting its look in a image that lay there, was so for several seconds, the which is converted in minutes and probably in hours. To the remark that decided go out of that place, walking quickly to the bath closer, washing its face with water cold, feeling light swelling in its eyes, little after dried its face with a towel and is directed to the kitchen, preparing quickly a coffee, back with this to its room. To the arrive to this took a long sip of coffee, unblocking its cellular, noting as the notifications not cesaban, reading some, and reviewing one that other message, responding to the same the drier possible, trying avoid greater conversation. Little after ended its coffee and walked until the desk, sitting there, observing attentively its computer, lighting this, seeking again articles that talk better on the topic, finding enough in language original, translating the same, for can understand of all. While was progressing noticed as its eyes is filled of tears, the same that not it took in go out, and its hopes fell of way dry, disappearing quickly, read all the information, illegando to the end of the "news", observing the photos little morbid of place, feeling as the penalty and anguish is empowered of its body, cause nothing was official, nothing was unerring, not could be of all bad, neither could be well to the have those doubts. Closed of blow the computer and again to the room, lying in the bed and covering his then for complete with the blankets, hiding its head in the pillow, leaving go out all that passed hours, seeing as the sun is returned each time less bearable, forcing to go out of its "refuge" of blankets, observing with attention the ceiling, as if of the thing more relevant of world were. Observed the clock, for the sound of its stomach interrupted could not do, if already were the 13:30 its thoughts, and not is directed to the dining room quickly, observing to its family there, smiling cunning, although rather seemed a grin of pain, more decided ignore that point, taking a bottle of water for then accommodated in the table. Observed with attention the dish of food, playing with the fork and the food, as if of the more entertaining of world were, purely for obviate the look of the other taking short sips of water of time in when, trying fight with the knot existing in its throat, although looking that the had increasing, for the be there not him was feel well in the more minimum, for the which invented a excuse for return to its room, cueing in the same and sumiéndose the bed. Took her phone and the release, setting its look in its bottom of screen, for was a image of that boy smiling broad, what was for feign so well?, or is that simply not wanted i notice?, in the bottom knew that that moment would come, that that pump of solitude and sorrow estallaría, but never thought that would be of that form, that boy that saw as a support, a boy strong and intelligent, devoted and enough humble, that boy that used to be its all of a moment to other decided disappear without more, and him was difficult of assimilate, to whom not him would be after so time? maintained alive the hope of that all outside a bad understood, a error of translation, but its consciousness him did remark the selfish that could be a person, because in that moment alone thought in yes same, not thought in the bad that the passed the boy, and in the bad that the would still passing if continues here, more not could see it of other form; was as if a empty yaciera inside of she, a angustiante and inexplicable empty, that probably never could fill with nothing nor with nobody, even when is stared to the mirror could remark its eyes without shine some, its face more pale and its lab enough dry, its cheeks still kept mild roads of tears, understanding for end to the boy, waiting not have the same end, that so cruel and bleak, without have to whom tell you the problems or penalties that ate the own soul, and as little to little you start to be a dead in life, for you leave of feel too things and you start to live simply "Cause must be like this".