Never

Pairing: Josh Dun x male reader Words: 809 Prompt: "If you walk out that door... don't you ever come back" TW: mentions and descriptions of abuse, car accident, homophobia and slurs, slight angst i suppose??

You had been doing so well. Why did your brain have to do this to you now, after all these years?

"If you walk out that door... don't you ever come back"

His words echoed in your brain as you continued walking down the street. You felt bad for walking out, especially after Josh's heated words. But you still had to get out, you didn't want to force the experience of your breakdown upon Josh; and you didn't want to talk about that part of your past. Josh had always been curious about the things you said you would one day tell him that were important aspects of you from your past, and you wanted to tell him; but you just couldn't. It hurt way too fucking much.

Josh had always been understanding and patient with you during the past four years he had known you, and the two you had been together for. He was always there, and he never pushed anything; he was a blessing in your life. Why couldn't you just finally let go and tell him? You loved him, and he loved you... or did he?

Your breathing picked up again as you hurried back into your car after getting some coffee. It had started raining, and that was quite odd for this area. Not that you minded, you loved rain and storms; it made you feel safe for some reason. You began to drive around again, and you were probably going to message Tyler in a few and see if he was free, just to make sure Josh wasn't over there already; that was really the only downside attached to sharing close friends with him. You were quite used to driving in wacky weather, and you weren't even worried about the heavy downpour as you drove. But not everyone felt the same way...

You were deep in your thoughts while waiting for the stoplight to finally turn green, and contemplating messaging Tyler while you waited, when suddenly you heard a loud impact and you felt your body and vehicle moving without your control. Your head hit your steering wheel quite forcefully, and that was the last thing you remembered.

"Y/N! Get your fuckin' ass out here right now!"

How did you know that voice? Suddenly it clicked, as you analyzed your surroundings and recognized it as your childhood residence. You envisioned the younger you happily waltzing to the voice, not yet realizing the severity of the situation.

"Yes, papa?"

"Why is this, fuckin' garbage, all over the floor?"

Younger you frowned and glanced at your art supplies you had gotten from your grandparents for your birthday that lay on a mat on the floor.

"It's not trash! And I was just using the bathroom quickly-"

You cower when the chair hits the wall inches away from you.

"Is that fuckin' backtalk? You're really gonna get it now, little bitch."

"Stop! Please!" You screamed desperately at the scene unfolding in front of you, but they couldn't hear you.

Suddenly, the scene changed, you saw yourself when you were 17 grinning at his phone before answering a call from your at the time boyfriend. It wasn't too long into the conversation before your drunken sperm donor busted through the blanket you used as a door (due to him busting down the actual door.) You felt yourself tense as younger you tensed and threw his phone off to the side and getting up quickly.

"Dad! I didn't think you would be back from work so early!"

"They fuckin' laid me off you little bitch-" He slurred before slowly inching towards you.

"And it's all because of you, you fuckin' faggot; they heard you were gay and laid me off. I didn't even know my son was a fuckin' queer." You jolted awake, feeling the cold sweat drip off of you, before the scene could finish unfolding.

Your breathing was erratic as you took in your surroundings before being enveloped in a bear hug.

"Oh I'm so sorry Y/N-" Josh whispered softly into your hair before kissing it gently.

You were very confused, what happened? How'd you get there?

"I didn't mean what I said, I was being insensitive to your wishes and feelings in the moment. I'm just so stressed with the music, the label wanting me to continue to conceal our relationship, and my family wanting the exact opposite of what the label wants and-" he breathed deeply.

"It's not excuse, Y/N. I am so sorry, and you said some things about what you were panicking about that one night while you were unconscious and I-" Josh had started crying.

"Hey Josh, it's okay. I forgive you. Just, please don't leave me-" You whispered softly into his chest as you hugged him in return.

"I'll never leave you. Not in a million years."