The Colorless Land

Chapter 33: Nameless Monsters

Jolette awoke in the dark, stirred out of her dreams by hushed voices.

Rolling over, she reached for Edmian and found his spot empty. Within a split second she was awake. Images flashed through her head of the last time she had woken up to find him missing, and sitting up her eyes darted about in the chamber, searching for any clue where he could have gone.

She did not need to look far. The voices that had roused her continued to whisper, and she recognized both of them. And the one that spoke up at this moment, softly and carefully, was most definitely Edmian.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" he asked faintly, only a few steps away.

"Absolutely sure," said Lisha. "Now go back to sleep, young man, before you wake up anyone else."

There was a moment's pause, then Edmian replied, "I can't sleep."

Lisha gave a sigh. "I should have a sleeping potion somewhere in my pack," she muttered, her voice oddly strained, Jolette realized. "If you bring it to me, I can give you some."

Jolette lay back down, pretending to sleep as she watched them from the corner of her eye. Little by little her eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and she could make out their shapes where they sat. Lisha seemed to be facing away from her. Edmian was curled up at her side, the white of his hair and skin glimmering faintly in the darkness like a ghost.

At Lisha's suggestion he shook his head, quietly but resolutely. "I don't need to sleep."

Lisha's posture stiffened. "If this is your fear of being a burden again—"

"No." Edmian shook his head again, then pulled up his shoulders. "It is...I don't know the way to explain it." He curled up. "Something tells me...I should stay awake. If I go to sleep now...it seems wrong."

Jolette held her breath. She knew what Edmian was talking about. Should she stop eavesdropping? Should she speak up?

But Lisha, it seemed, had realized it too. "You want to stay awake," she said. "Is that what you mean?"

Edmian lifted his head. "Want?"

"Everyone wants things, Edmian." There was a smile in Lisha's voice. "It's part of human nature."

Edmian didn't answer. Jolette could easily picture the things going on in his head: the surprise, the confusion, the mixture of amazement and deep-sitting guilt.

"I still say you should sleep," Lisha said into the silence. "But if you truly insist, stay up for a little longer."

There was another silence, longer and heavier. Then, taking a deep breath, Edmian asked, "What is out there?"

Lisha stiffened. "What are you referring to?"

"The...the nothing." Edmian pointed hesitantly into the passage. "What is it?"

"I told you, I do not know. Now mind your business."

"Do you really not?"

Jolette stifled a gasp. So, it seemed, did Lisha.

"This is a guess," Edmian went on. "But...you aren't hiding anything from us to carry the burden alone...are you?"

There was a beat of silence, then, exhausted as she sounded, Lisha began to laugh.

"What a question!" she said. "Projection is truly a drug to beware of, child of the Colorless. But," she added, sobering up, "in this case, you are sadly right."

Edmian visibly held his breath, and so did Jolette under her blanket.

"What is it?" Edmian whispered.