I and Nikko was a happy go lucky couple they said. Mag-f-five years na kami sa september and to be honest? I want him to be my last because he's my first.
He texted me "Loveee?? Lumabas naman tayo ngayon. I miss you" that made me smile in just a glimpse.
I love it when he always calls me "Love". When he always tell me that he misses me so much kahit araw-araw naman kami'ng nagkikita.
Siya yung rason kung bakit ako masaya ngayon at alam ko na soon or anytime mula ngayon ay maaari na siya din ang maging dahilan ng labis na kalungkutan ko.
"Loveeee,mahal na mahaaal kita. You know why i insisted "love" to be our call sign ?" He asked and smile.
Sandali akong nag-isip at nagsalita. "Because love is a sacrifice at handa nating gawin 'yon? Because love is everything? Because love is important at mahalaga tayo sa isa't isa? Because... Love is blind? Nabulag na ba tayo nito?" I laughed at my own ideas.
"No,because love symbolizes the action itself. On how we feel the incredible heartbeats inside our hearts. You are my strength,you are my everything,you are important,i can sacrifice everything just to be with you,but no...im not blind " he said and smile. He captured my heart once again,ang rupok ko noh? It pounds so fast and i bet it might explode anytime right now.
I can't forget what he said . Sa bawat pag-uusap yata namin ay lagi siyang may binibitawan na cheesy na mga salitaan na siguradong hindi ko makakalimutan.
"Love? Gusto ko nang makasal tayo. I can't wait for the priest announcing our names as husband and wife." He stated as he cupped my face and kissed me on my forehead.
"Ako din love,teka. Ilang anak ba ang gusto mo?" I joked.
"Kung hanggang ilan ang kaya mo." He chuckled habang ako namumula na. Argh,i lose.
"Kidding,love." Dagdag pa niya.
Pinagplanuhan na din namin mula noon ang mangyayari sa future namin,para oriented na daw sabi niya. Pati na rin ang kasal namin pinagpa-planuhan na niya.
Ngunit dalawang linggo lang ang nakalipas sinabi niya na may business trip raw sila sa London na baka umabot ng 1 month.
He promised to comeback as early as he can,though sinabi ko na enjoy-in niya lang yung pagpunta nila dun kasi sayang naman kung hindi.
Hanggang isang araw his father texted me na pupunta raw sila sa bahay. Tapos noong araw na din na yun ipinaliwanag nila na Nikko was suffering in a stage 4 cancer of the blood . I was fucked up when i knew his case.
Hindi ko naisip na ganoon yung ibabalita nila sakin? For pete's sake he's far away from me,i badly wanted to cry the pain out loud pero kailangan kong maging malakas.
Agad akong nagpabook ng flight and sad to say,the day i arrived there,the doctor said na matagal na raw niyang tinaningan ang buhay ni Nikko at posible na ang araw na yun na ang huli niya.
"L-love " Pagtawag ko sa kaniya ng makita ko siya na nakahiga sa isang puting kama. Lantang lanta na at ang laki ng ipinayat niya. Habang pinagmamasdan ko siya at hinahaplos ang buhok niya,hindi ko namalayang sobra sobrang luha na pala ang nanggaling sa mata ko.
Lumalabo na yung paningin ko habang pinipigilan ko pa ding huwag humikbi ng malakas. Hindi ako makahinga ng maayos dahil sa sobrang sakit sa pakiramdam na makita ko siya ganoon ang kalagayan.
He opened his eyes and smile. Halatang pati ang pag ngiti ay hirap na hirap pa siya. I kissed his lips,i hugged him while he's lying on that white bed that time.
Everybody was shocked when Nikko survived a day. Sigurado akong hirap na hirap na siya pero mas pinili niyang kayanin pa para sakin at sa mga taong nagmamahal sa kaniya. Nung mismong gabi na yun ikinwento ko yung masasaya naming alaala,ipinaramdam ko sa kanya na siya lang yung taong mamahalin ko habang buhay.
Nakiusap din ako na wag siyang susuko,pero hindi na raw talaga kaya ng katawan niya sabi ng doktor at wala na ding magiging tulong ang mga aparato na naka-konekta sa matamlay na katawan nito.
Before losing his last breathe he uttered "I'm sorry". My heart almost stop beating as the sound of that apparatus became flat.
My heart died. My life became dull. My eyes lost its spark. My stars lost its light. My smile lost its genuineness.I almost lost everything when i lost him.
-----------+++++++------------
Nikko's POV;
I managed to utter "I'm sorry" yet my body didn't help me to tell her that i love her so much.
Flashbacks of memories began. Is this what they said 7 minutes of remembering all the happy and painful memories?
Well,it's fucking hard to reminisce all those scenario's that soon might gone.
Loving her was my strength. That's what i thought then this disease started to slowly take away all my strength. Then here it is. Im losing her,she's losing me and we both losing our dreams.
We lose. Our love lose.
*****
Credits for the precious background of the book cover!
Thank you Aesthetic.
