Going Forward

Abstract short I did

One step, that’s all it takes.

She thought over and over again. Standing on the edge, just one step was all it took to change everything forever.

She clutched her torn, ripped and slightly bloodstained tulle skirt. One step. One step. One step.

Her mind didn’t want to process anything. It was just one decision, go forward or turn back. That’s all. But no matter what reasoning she used, she just turned back to One step. One step. One step.

I can’t do this alone she thought to herself, breaking that internal rhythm. She was alone, there was no one left, and no one was waiting for her either way she decided to go. She had no one.

She lifted her head to see the vast ocean in front of her. It started shallow, but gradually became deeper, like an idea growing and developing in one’s mind.

She needed a new idea. But she couldn’t just turn back. It seemed impossible to turn back now, but just as impossible to go forward with it. 

She was conflicted, yet somehow she made the journey here. Hiked, swam, walked, ran…fought. She thought. She had fought to get here, where she was now. She couldn’t throw it away, not after all the blood she had gathered on her hands.

But she didn’t do it out of uncertainty, she knew what she needed to do, but after she had gotten what she needed something slurred her purpose - made all of the ideas in her head blurry. If there wasn’t still that remaining memory of that purpose, she would have stopped halfway.

She knew now that she should have turned back at that halfway point. What she lost was too great to make up for what she had to do.

But that moment had passed. She made the choice, foolishly, and had gotten herself here. She had nothing left to return to, but nothing to go to. She was trapped in the unruly clutches of fate and she only had one choice. She knew now, what she had to do.

But she just couldn’t do it.

No matter what logic urged her to make this choice, everything else held her back.

A tear streamed down her cheek. She reached up to touch the thing that held her back. She needed it out, it was the only way she could go through with it. It was causing her to much pain.

But she needed it at the same time. She couldn’t let her go. 

It’s the last thing……………………

She stopped herself and just felt it. Held it, studied the weight of it, every edge, every scratch and every smooth surface.

She couldn’t take it anymore. The tears were just falling and falling…

She went forward.