HIDDEN FEELINGS

Chapter 21 (The memorial part 2)

My feet were killing me all can say I was exhausted from all duties and planning I had to do today stripping all my clothes before I climbing into the tub to treat myself to bubble bath which was relaxing , soothing it really took the edge off though during my bath I could get my mind off the mysterious woman in black governance asamble completed with bee keeping like black hat who was she and how dare she infiltrate my mothers memorial it was supposed to be intimate affair but she ruined it and I was gonna make pay dearly for insulating my mothers memory brushing away thoughts of sobatage and revenge I climbed out of my tub rapped my wet hair before rapping the rest my self in my towel with that I walked to my room dried myself up, braided my hair , generally prepared for quick turn in cause tomorrow was day of Thanksgiving dinner and l needed all the Zizz I could get in tomorrow as it was going to be another long day

With that I climbed into bed , pulling the bedding to cover my shivering body I let my body lie in bed in an effort to get some sleep in before the big day tomorrow though right now in the moment it felt impossible I just found myself tossing and turning in my bed then finally I was able to get some much needed shut eye in order to recharge my worn out batteries.

At sun rise the next morning I was greeted by my nanny Rosemary who like a mother always greeted me with breakfast in bed, today's meal consisted of beacon with eggs buttered toast, a cup of ginger tea all completed up with a Fresh glass of apple juice . Drawing my curtains she asked me if I slept OK and nodded my head response that is lovely my dear, but do remember its your Mum's memorial Thanksgiving dinner, so you need to get ready OK dear. " she said departing from my room "OK Nana. " I call out to her

Lifting the breakfast tray I place it on my bedside table before climbing out of bed I quickly make my bed happy with the out come I made my way to the bathroom to have my bubble bath, which I must say was splendid coming out of my tab I rapped my hair including my self in a towel I soon returned to my room where I had my breakfast there after l got dressed headed down stairs for another stressful day of making sure everything was perfect to a t and this meant over seeing the table arrangements flower center pecies the sitting arrangements the music and most importantly the "Menu"it was make or brake of this memorial dinner and like I said everything had to be perfect

The venue of the dinner was our family home in our family garden , trucks with party supplies such as tables and chairs, center pecies already started arriving, I had only six hours to turn this lifeless dull garden into a mystical memorial wonderland that celebrated and honoured my mother

I decided my colour scheme would be purple and white and the center pieces of would be small with white, pink roses not forgetting each table had to have a framed beautiful photo of my mum sorounded by white candles.

The tables were covered in white linen and in middle layed a purple surtan table cloth with its ends falling over the either side of the table with small centerpieces of white and peach rose flowers holding its center just next it on each table was framed photo of my mother sorounded by candle with elegant eight table settings the table was sorounded by eight chairs that were covered in purple linen all tables were decorated in that fashion

Apart from service table which was long table covered in white linen purple skirting on its sides on it sat empty warmers that will house the cooked food when ready checking the menu I cross checked with the caters if everything on menu was ready they assured me they will be serving at 1:00pm sharp I went ahead to cross check with the altar where Rev will be administrating and I was pleased

And headed to my room to change into something more appropriate for the occasion hence my black long lace dress I hated so much looking in the mirror I knew another long sad day of painful memories awaited me but at same time was day I could also appreciate and remember my mum like she was beautiful, caring, cheerful person who had ability to light up any one's day as soon the minute she walked into a room

Yes I was hurting and dying from the inside it felt as if my heart had cut open and a merciless person kept stabbing it even if it was already bleeding and I wouldn't stop until my heart stop beating but I t couldn't I was forced to live with this ever ending pain , some times i even contapelated on committing suicide cause at times the pain would so an bearable that death seemed like only way out , because this was another memorial dinner I would cry myself to sleep tonight cause once again I had failed to bring my mother's murders to justice and what hurt me most they were free to live their disgusting lives after they ruined my life but like said I was going stop at nothing until where roting away miserably in a stinky jail cell for ruining me and my family life

Some of you must be wondering am some emotional idiot and that my mum would never have wanted me to live like this save your crap, don't be too quick judge me cause unless you have lost a parent like I have you can never truly understand my pain for those of you who have you can agree with me that pain never goes away as for me it was worse I watched die in front of me so forgive me not giving a shit about life and my only drive for living in this painful existence was an ending desire to execute my plan and bring the people took my mother from me to justice and that was my only drive

Wiping tears from my face I walked down stairs to the gardens where the memorial dinner party was to begin in a few minutes all the guests had arrived and only people remaing where my friends with their plus minutes turned to hours as we waited for my friends they arrived 1:00pm messing up the whole sechudle for day cause we were supposed to have 9:00am mass before continuing with the festivities I was angry but let it go because the important thing is that they showed up and didn't leave me hanging cause that would been embarrassing

With them finally in there seats we officially started the Thanksgiving mass which takes about an hour to conclude , with it finished we guests started giving speeches on how my mum was special including those of Aaron soon it was my turn

And so l began with" ladies and gentlefolks, you will have to forgive me a little bit tipisy cause of he wine in this glass Emily said pointing to the glass , but nevertheless I will give best speech I possibly can . "my mother was pheonominial. woman , a woman with class and integrity her love was abound with the love she had for others always ready to help who ever was in need , she was jem of woman, she was one in a million from the way astride to way she talked to she perceived other people her heart was big, kind she was loving mother with a heart of Gold but life without her is has been hard crying myself to sleep every night from night she left us it was the wold came crashing on us like as if a tentonto a title wave, hurricane, tsunami came crushing down on us destroying our happy lives , life became pretty un bearable from that point on but through all this pain managed to get by due to lessons she taught me, friends who comforted me during that hard time I managed to come out of every deep depression and I will surely miss her I love you mother ever keeping smiling down on us in heaven and I hope I make you proud every day love you always mother , I will never stop fighting till I bring your killers to justice let's have a toast to my amazing mother. "I said raising my wine glass

After which people joined me in a toast to my mothers life a there after we had dinner and enjoyed each others company. As we enjoyed our respective meals We confined to chat remense about my mum and how much she loved all of us when all of us had filled our stomachs to our hearts content we all cheered and sipped our champagne in honor and remembrance of my mum soon after had lantern ceremony and released millions of lit lanterns with roses and letters of mum into star filled night sky while sing songs as watched them float in air away and OutSight we continue to sing as walked back to dinner area pushing away tables we began dancing to the music until it was time for final speeches with everyone safely back in tables I began giving a heartfelt speech about my mum when I notice uninvited guest sited by herself on table with no soul insight in all black clothing sitted at the back she same woman who infiltrated my mother's memorial service at church.

Everything about her seemed Suspicious , who was she what did she want I kept staring at her wondering who she was as tried to maintain my composure so could finish my speech but something in my heart was un settling so I went with my gut and stopped mid through my speech flowed her blindly when she noticed this started running through crowd as I chased after her she kept running faster trying to disappear into the crowd but kept my eyes locked on her as she made her way through to crowd making sure not to loose sight of her I kept chasing after until I caught up with her holding her roughly by shoulder I slowly turned her all the while braving myself what was about to happen, suddenly she stamps my foot with her hill the impact forces me to loose my grip on her again and once more she escaped from me