British Problems: A Guide To Being British

Problem 9: Sorry but you don't have the X Factor

Warning: There is gonna be lists again!

Well it is that time of year again folks! Turn on your tellies on a Saturday/Sunday night and switch it to ITV because guess what? X FACTOR IS BACK ON!

Yes that's right, everyone's favourite competition show apart from Strictly Come Dancing, Britain's Got Talent and The Voice is on! But don't worry because if you go on it and get to the live shows you might get a singing career like the following:

-Leona Lewis

-Little Mix

-Olly Murs

-ONE DIRECTION (aka sunshines)

-JLS

-Cher Lloyd

-Ella Henderson

-James Arthur

Now I didn't name all of the people that have had a career cause of the show because these artists have been more successful. 

This year the judges are Mel B (Scary Spice), Cheryl Cole (That's not her last name anymore but cba to check what it is), Louis Walsh (Everyone's least favourite irish man) and the one and only Simon Cowell. To impress these judges, not only do you need to be able to sing as there is another thing that you can use to get through.....

HAVE A BACK STORY

That's right folks, you must have a sad story that will make the judges feel terrible. This can be either, a dead relative or extreme bullying and is used a lot of the time for what is called a 'sympathy vote'

Now it doesn't even matter if the two of them don't even apply to you because if you are really shit but believe that you are talented, they will still let you audition and you may get through to the live shows as the 'joke act' just so us as the public can be entertained.

If the person that you wanted to win didn't get through to the next stafe, you can complain on social media instead of realising that they might have got through if you actually voted for them. Also if you compain that you 'aren't going to watch it next year' we all know that you are lying and that you do the exact same thing next year.