Love and its Timing

Chapter 7- Updated

Jake is holding his head looking at us. I can see that he is hurt and that he is sorry, but I don’t care about him anymore. I hate him. I don’t know what made him do what he did. I didn’t even thought of him doing such thing. I can’t accept the fact that I fell in love with this monster.

I curled up at the floor my back leaning at the sofa. I am trying to cover my bare skin with my hands feeling ashamed of myself. I also feel hatred towards Jake. I hate him for what he did. I don’t know where to start. I feel like I am shattered inside, my confidence, morale, everything has been broken to pieces.

Jake walked towards me, his eyes are teary, he tried to hug me but Mia hugged me first and pushed him away.

“Aaliyah, please, I was not me. I was just mad.” He tried to hold me but my sobbing worsened.

“Jake can you just please get out before I call the police.” Mia said furiously. She continued to hug me tightly which made me feel secured and safe.

“Mia please don’t get involved with this, this is just between me and Aaliyah.” He said still looking at me, trying to get closer.

“I’m not involved, that was before you did this. So get the hell out of this house or I will seriously call the police.” She shouted at him.

“Jake, please, I don’t want to see you right now. Just go.” I said in between my sobs.

“You heard her.” Mia continued.

“I will go now but please let’s talk when you feel better.” He said with his most pleasing voice as he walked out the door.

I heard the door closed. I cried at Mia’s shoulder. I don’t know what to tell her. I wish I had her courage and strength.

“Hush now. It’s all ok. I’m here.” She said as she stroked my hair.

“You’re stronger than this. Just think of it as a nightmare and that you are already up so you can forget about it.” She continued.

“I don’t know Mia.” I said still crying.

“You do know. And you know that this is for the better. I might not know what really happened before what I saw, but all I know is he won’t force you to do it if he respects you and if you didn’t do anything to hurt his HUMONGOUS ego.” She said so annoyed.

“Is me standing for my decision wrong?” I looked at her.

“Does that decision make you happy?” she asked back.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I really don’t know what to think right now.” I bowed my head again.

“If you are unsure, then maybe that really makes you happy and you’re answer of not being sure is just being affected by what happened. But you know you have all my support so go and make the most of it.” She said smiling.

I let out a deep sigh. I know that the decision I made would really make me happy because if it won’t, I won’t even consider continuing what I planned. Maybe it’s really time for me to let go of him. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise that I was able to find out what kind of person, or shall I say a monster he is before I even decide to give up everything for him. I felt a bit of relief when those thoughts came in mind.

“You’re right Mia, this isn’t me. I am strong and independent. I need to move on.” I said as I stood up straight.

“That’s my girl! Go take a bath and let the bad memories and this nightmare drain with the water.” She also stood up and held my shoulder. “And besides we have 4 days of vacation to enjoy. This is the perfect time to move on.” She winked at me.

I raced to get a shower. The aroma of my shower gel makes me feel so calm. I followed Mia’s advice and let the water take away the bad memories. I know it won’t be that easy for me to forget because there are still some good memories that I shared with Jake in our 3-year relationship, but there is always this event that helps me erase the feeling I had for him and turn it into disgust.

It hurts me that after what Jake and I had, he never respected my decisions, that he still has doubts with my loyalty and faithfulness to him. I have never cheated or even think of doing so. He has my full support and respect. I want to think that I was the one who failed the relationship; that I was the one lacking but thinking over, I thought that I might have given too much. Too much for him to be selfish enough to think that whatever he do, I can tolerate or I will forgive him.

Right now, I wasn’t able to know the details of the girl I heard over the phone but I don’t care anymore. I can now bring back the life that I had. I can bring back the old me, the independent, confident and carefree girl. This is me, I should be happy with it.

After of an hour of taking a warm shower, I immediately changed into my PJs. I looked around my room and it seems like every corner has a memory of Jake, so I decided to rearrange my room the way I really wanted.

I brought out the posters of Paramore and Demi Lovato and posted it on the walls painted green (which is Jake’s favorite color by the way). I covered my bed with my Hello Kitty comforter and beddings. It makes me feel like I am a child once again. I removed the remaining things of Jake from the closet and the drawers placed it all in a box and I will ship it out first thing tomorrow. I then started sorting my closet out. I color coded my clothes, hanged all the dresses that was once hidden on the bottom of my closet.

I packed my suitcase good for 6 days. We’ll just be there for 4 days but I always make sure to bring extra. I made sure that I’ll have everything that I’ll need. I finished the renovation of my room and packing at 3AM.

I decided to sleep since I have a flight to go to tomorrow at 10:30AM. This day has been one of the most tiring days of my life but it has never been this satisfying, I felt like I have freed myself from slavery.

I didn’t know how I slept but I was awakened by the alarm of my phone. I got up to prepare myself for my long wished vacation.