All I was scared to move on and thinking that you will leave and the thought that you will leave me.. was always planning things if you leave me how to get you back or situations I would never would let Happen to think about and now suddenly I dont think about you much and didn't realize how to kill time without you. And how people would mean everything and will leave you with nothing and now you don't miss them or feel anything. You are just an empty body wants loyality and love which is true.. how are eyes are now all open and know what people think and know what people's moves are now, how we come to know what people see in you and how, how people touch you and a person makes you be felt by soul.. how the difference is been cleared. All was happing before too but how dumb was I not realize it.. how stupid was I to give you chances over and over again just to sit there and give you all my heart for you to shit on it.how I never realized you always had money but you made me spent mine how I didn't realize you didn't love me but i made myself think you love just cz you said "walk slow you will fall down" I thought he cared but later now I realize caz he won't have an ATM to swipe when needed.. how I didn't realize I didn't even learn to love myself and I loved him.. how I made him my friend ,my guide, my partner ,my love,my life, my husband even though not yet married, my whole world, how I couldn't even imagine me outside my house without him and sooner started missing him when I was home, because at home he made such cute and cuddly memories I would never have with anyone... He knew I would never cheat.. he knew I would never leave him..he knew i was loyal. He knew me excatly who I am and infact more than I knew myself.. he was bored of the idea of being loved but was fantastied by the thinking and feeling of new, he cheated over and over again, I gave him chance over and over again but marking my words that I would not simply make him feel forgiveable but made him feel guilty by words.. but instead he turned the story upside down.. he didn't see his mistake but told be I was clingy, he didn't see he cheated but shouted on me... He didn't see he is flirting but yelled at me.. he didn't see he was staring at other girls but was hitting me with the same hands once he held my cheeks and said he loved me.. and breakup just feels bad bcz the person made you feel made you love with the idea of him and "what if this happens and that happens" but I loved him inspite he giving me dreams , flowers and gifts. I loved him the way he talked the way he use to walk the way he is with everyone the way he use to eat the way his heart is when no one is around the way he use to come to me all dressed up asking how am I looking and use to get that red pinky glow when I use to call him mast dhek raha hai, I loved him for his habbits the way he use to fashion around, the way he use to accessorize himself .. the way his eyes use to role when laughing, this eyes lashes when he use to give me that look.. his lips colddead soft and black with a dark pink shade. His beard perfectly grown, neever was a day I didn't feel he wasn't perfect , he shaved awesome he didn't shave even more handsome. He cut his hair cute he didn't cut his hair sexy. He was my cute body cuddler and my cute little baby I want to handle all my life.. I found him sexy by his shoulders by the muscularity he had and melted the way he use to be sad on small things.. I loved his fingers I felt his hands. I adore his eyes and his cute nose with open pours. He is handsome as fuck... He might have cheated on me but some other girl will be lucky to have him in her life. He is a perfect friend, husband and and hardcore ass kicking motivator. He is just perfect. I hope he doesn't miss me much. And moves on.. I love him and he won't ever be able to get to know it and it's okay! Caz maybe I don't deserve him.. maybe I am not the girl for him.
