Sex Drive

Summary

Two months ago

Jasey shivered as his slender fingers drew shapes on her back, mainly triangles and circles. She couldn't believe that it had finally happened, five months of endless texts and surprising catch ups had led to this. Of course, Jasey was beyond nervous and afraid when he had taken her back to his room, but it was going to happen anyway, right? The shapes on her back deepened into her skin, known that she would have red marks against her spine.

"You're nervous," she acknowledged, realising that Harley had only ever fidgeted when he was deep in thoughts or if something bad was going to happen.

He didn't think she'd realise so quickly. Harley was mind blown, he had finally gotten under the strapped clothes of Jasey Collin; shy and quiet girl that was beyond touchable to man. "I am nervous," he clarified, instantly ripping his anxious finger from her tanned skin when he noticed how she didn't flinch by the achy mess he had made.

"Tell me."

Jasey turned to face Harley, the potential love of her teenage life. She wasn't sure if this man that had taken her virginity was going to take her wedding finger, but she sure as hell hoped so. As sickening as it sounds now, she admired every aspect of Harley Richards, the boy who dropped out of school and shared a crappy apartment in the middle of the city. She loved the way his eyebrows furrowed if he saw was unsure and nervous, she liked his nose when it crinkled whilst figuring out something complex, and she loved the two centimetre scar tracing his cheekbone.

"I-" he started, already too coward to spit out the words. Was he going to say it? Those three words every taken girl wants to hear?

"I feel like we should wait until the time is right," it was obvious then and there that he wasn't going to say 'I love you,' no matter how bad she wanted to hear it, and for a second Jasey thought her dream would come true.

She could tell it was bad, the way his his furrowed eyebrows searched into his duvet, and especially the way his nose crinkled as he began to drown in his thoughts. They were all bad aspects he was expressing.

"Please Harley," she begged.

His eyes flickered towards hers, a sign of regret and anxiety taking over his blue ones as he washed his hand over her shoulder. "I'm going to go," was all he said.

Jasey was confused, did he have work in the morning? He only worked three times a week, and tomorrow was not one of those days. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" She questioned, leaning her chin against the palm of her hand as she pressed her sunken cheek to his chest.

"I mean I'm going away," the last work coming out more of a breath, he pushed away from her so she supported her body of her own. "I'm leaving you."

Jasey sat in at least six minutes of utter silence. The kind of silence you endure when you hear a loved one is dying with cancer, the silence that consumes you when you don't have any idea how to overcome without feeling emotionally wrecked and heartbroken, also feeling completely enraged at the exact same time.

"Say something," he mumbled, already knowing that Jasey would surely be out to kill him in this damn bed.

"You fucking prick," she hissed whilst forcing her leant on arm back to slap him across his right cheek. All emotions faded through the contact, and she suddenly felt a huge loss of energy. He didn't flinch, only shifting his face back to place and looking at her. "Do you know how I feel?" She couldn't suppress the anger that was radiating off her like a cellphone.

He didn't seem fazed by her feelings, only nodding his head as he dropped his face and letting the dark hair fall from his forehead, covering his eyes.

"I feel utterly used. You knew how nervous I was, how fucking scared I was for this; and then you go and say this. Way to fucking throw my confidence around," Harley knew exactly what she was talking about. He knew she was a virgin, and that she wanted to wait for the right person which they both thought was him.

"No," he stuttered, actually surprising her for a second. "I don't want you to feel like I used you, and I don't want you to feel like you weren't good enough. You are, especially for a virgin." He praised, but the hatred only blinded Jasey. Five months of getting to know each other, questions and truths were now splattering onto the cold hard wood floor like glass. Her heart was glass.

"You fucking prick," she repeated, still consuming the fact that he was just moaning her name fifteen minutes ago, and now he was telling her that what they had was over. "If you really mean anything like this, you wouldn't be doing this. You wouldn't break my heart," she dropped it on him, and noticed how bad he stuffed this up. It was just a game from the start, but he caught her and himself too far in it.

He didn't know what to say, except for I'm sorry, I don't mean it, I really do care about you. But he knew the main rule of the game he had between himself and three other friends, one simple word that would change Jasey forever.

"Don't worry about it, you were good at it."