One day when I was younger I went over to my grandma’s house with my brothers. We played all kinds of board games like Candy Land, Shoots and Ladders, her favorite game Memory, and more. She would make us lunch and we would watch movies using her video player because she never had cable. This wasn’t just one day, this was many days. We would go to my grandma’s house a lot and we spent a lot of time together.
A few years later I was just in my room watching TV, when I heard a knock at my bedrooms door.
“Yeah?” I called out. My mom opened the door.
“Grandma passed away this morning.”
I replied, “Okay.” It was all I could manage in my state of shock and I just wanted her to close the door and leave, I wanted to be alone. I pictured my grandma, I pictured her in the beige pants and plain long sleeve purple shirt she’d so often wear. I pictured her short grey curls and I pictured her warm smile.
That was this just this past winter, it hasn’t actually been very long even though somehow it has felt like a lifetime. I miss my grandma a lot, we were always really close. I loved the relationship I had with my grandma and I feel really lucky that I got to have it. My whole life my grandma never lived more than a fifteen minute car ride away. We saw her all the time, constantly spending time together, especially when we were younger. She was there through it all and supported me in everything I did while she helped to make sure I got to do it. She rarely would ever miss a soccer game, rain or shine. She would be at all my elementary choir concerts and my middle school band ones. When I was younger she would take my brothers and I on frequent trips to the library.
I have a lot of memories of vacations with her. Ones like our yearly trip where we stay on Lake Michigan for a week. I remember huddling under a tent with her while it was raining buckets, flooding the campgrounds. I remember how often she’d tell my brothers to be careful about everything, being too close to the road, swimming to far out, and all her other worries. I missed having her around year.
About half a year before she died she had a stroke. I remember the day clearly. My mom went over to her house before picking up something to make for dinner. There was no answer at the door. My mom had to peek through the mail slot to see my grandma lying on the floor. I can easily recall my mom’s sobbing reaction at having to call an ambulance for her. I visited my grandma in the hospital not much later on Thanksgiving with my cousin Lauren on the way home from dinner at my uncles. I tried talking to her and she knew who I was but it was weird seeing her that way, it was like she wasn't completely there. I didn’t visit much after that.
At first my grandma started getting better. She was able to spend Christmas at home with us and other family. She gave thanks for all her gifts but I didn't see the joy in her eyes when she opened a sweater that seemed just like her, or the excitement in her voice at the sight of new slippers. She was still able to make her traditional Christmas chicken dinner. I was just grateful for the time I got to spend with my grandma out of the hospital.
But then she stopped getting better. She had a second stroke. This was followed by seizures. I occasionally heard my mom talking on the phone about my grandma’s condition, actually kind of a lot. A lot of the time it wasn’t great news.
A few weeks later is when I heard my mom get a call. A few weeks later is when I heard my mom sobbing hysterically. A few weeks later is when my mom knocked on my door to tell me my grandma was gone.
The news hit me pretty hard. I thought of all the things my grandma would miss not just the small things like sporting events but the big stuff, like graduation for example. I thought about how all the memories I made with her and how they were all I had left. I thought about this but I didn’t cry, not yet. I didn’t cry for awhile.
The day of the funeral I put on my black skirt and my heels and we headed down to the funeral home. There were tons of people there, lots I have never even seen before. My grandma touched a lot of people she was the nicest person you ever would’ve met. She was so generous, taking us clothes shopping, helping pay for sports. She was so easy to talk to. She could always make me feel better.
It has been hard without her. I thought I’d for sure have more time with her. I mean just a couple years ago she was bowling and driving in her eighties.
My grandma was a huge inspiration to me, she rarely ever complained. My grandma was the greatest and she will always have a place in my heart. This past summer my family and I climbed up the skyline trail in the campground we used to stay at every year. We got to the top and my uncle said a few words. He pulled out the ashes and we mixed them into the dunes. As a family, we put my grandma to rest were we all spent our summers together.
