This Isn't Me Anymore

He stopped and turned to look back at the horror which he had left

behind. So desperate for answers and so distraught over the wicked he

caused... But nothing could be done at this point. Nothing or no one

could save his soul from the evil he had created. He was lost on a

road that was never constructed. Ruler of a kingdom that was never

built. He fell to his knees and wept angrily. He brought up his hands

that shook in his sight that were miserably covered in blood and

slowly looked up to the sky as the rain dropped and washed away the

mud from where he sat. Knowing that nothing could take back his

previous actions, it was a life or death situation, even if the death

had already happened. Quickly without a thought, he jumped to his feet

and pushed up the tailgate to his truck. Before he could desperately

drive away into the darkness and try to forget about the mistakes, he

blacked out. His mind was numb and blank. Gazing into the rear-view

mirror he watched the flames at a distance still dancing around the

house reaching to the moon, and the ripped tarp whipping in the wind

off the back of the truck bed. He looked ahead. Eyes glassed over

showing no remorse for the events that had took place. His knuckles

were white from gripping the steering wheel with uncontrollable force.

And then suddenly something caught his attention. A flash struck his

eye from a piece of metal that had dropped before. Eager to leave he

hurried out of the car and ran through the chilly wind which gave him

goosebumps. As he got closer, he realized what it was. The piece of

metal that held his money onto his wallet. The man picked it up from

the rainy mud and wiped it off onto his work pants. He struggles

opening the wallet as it is stuck with dirt and water but eventually

succeeds. Inside the wallet lies nothing but a few twenties, a

crumpled up piece of paper from his ex, and his license that stated

the name Eli Racardo, age 26. He grasped the piece of paper in his

hands and placed it in his pocket along with many balls of lint. Once

he entered the truck, he took off down the road like a serpent

stretching the desert. He pulled into a run down mom and pop's gas

station a few miles down the road. It was late and there were no cars

but the old red blinking sign that he could see on the window said

OPEN.  He walked down aisle after aisle, not knowing exactly what he

needed or wanted but as he approached the alcohol section he knew that

a six pack would surely take the edge off of such an extreme day. As

he approached the counter he noticed the cashier was a tall, skinny