Ocean Eyes - B.E.

Chapter 15- How could you?

time skip: 3 weeks

Zara's POV
Billies been kinda distant but I know that she's busy. We only talk 3 times a week which is hard. I miss her so much. I miss her lips, I miss her body, I miss her skin touching mine.
But tonight I finally get to see my bil. Actually I told her I couldn't come because my mom planned something. But that's a complete lie. I just wanted to surprise her. She was so disappointed and I wanted to tell her that I was kidding but I wanted it to be special.
"Bye mom bye C I'll see you later tonight."
"Bye have fun sweetie!"

I headed out and grabbed a taxi to the venue. I texted Finneas.

Finneas

hi. i'm omw.
everything still gonna go as planned?

yes! see you soon little one.

I arrived at the venue 15 minutes later. Maggie was outside to greet me.
"Zara sweetheart it's so good to see you."
"It's nice to see you too!"
"So Billie told me about you two."
"Oh uh...."
"I'm happy for you two. You make her really happy."
"She makes me happy." I smiled.

We walked inside and Billie was getting ready to go out. I stood with Maggie during the concert. She kind of hid me so Billie wouldn't see me.

Her energy on stage was amazing. She truly loves her fans.

When she sang Hostage, she kept closing her eyes. I closed mine. I pictured her, like I hope she was picturing me.
"How's everyone doing tonight?"
We all screamed.
"This last song. It's a special one to me. I wrote it not really understanding why. And now I do. This person I think of while singing, is my everything. And when I look at her, I just want to cry. Because of how much they really really has changed my life. And they couldn't be here tonight, which really sucks but I hope to see them soon. But I want that person to know that I love you."
I felt tears stream down my face and whispered back "I love you."
Then she started singing. This girl.
"THANK YOU EVERYONE I LOVE YOU ALL"

I walked backstage to find Finneas and Claudia.
"Hi little one."
"Hi...where's Bil?"
"Uh so she went to a club with all her friends. You should go. Surprise her there!"
"Sounds good. You know which one?"
He gave me the address and I headed off.

I arrived at the club. I went inside and the music was bumping and the lights were flashing. It looked pretty dope. I searched around for Billie. I couldn't find her anywhere.
Then I saw her.
She was sitting on a couch.
With a guy.
Who was kissing her.
I felt like my life ended right then in there.
I walked over.
"Bil. WHAT THE FUCK."
"Zara I-"
"Billie how could you...." I felt tears run down my face.
"Z, I didn't, I don't know why... I just."
"Save it Billie. Don't ever fucking talk to me again."

I ran so fast. I ran hearing her call my name. I didn't look back. I ran to the street. I just kept running. I ran for what felt like forever, tears blurring my vision. It felt like I was having a panic attack but 1 billion times worse. My heart has shattered to pieces.

I ended up in central park, which was miles away from home.

I sat down. I just looked up at the sky. It wasn't completely dark yet. I wiped my tears away. I pulled out my phone and started writing. Writing all my feelings into a song. Nothing helps me more than that.
Then I heard her.
"Z."
"How the fuck did you find me."
"Location." She said pointing to her phone.
Shit. I knew I forgot something.
"Billie. Why are you even here. You fucking CHEATED ON ME. I knew I was gonna regret this. I knew it. It's not true. Just tell me I've been lied to. This whole thing is just a dream OR FUCKING SOMETHING ANYTHING BUT THIS. " I felt my ears get hot.
She just looked at me and cried.
"Crying isn't like you. Why are you crying."
"BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS." She screamed at me.
"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO. I DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING. YOUR THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED. I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET."
"I cant tell you why I did it," she calmed down, "I just Ive never been in a real relationship like this before. I've just never been the type to let someone see right through me the way you do."
"So you cheat. That's what you do when you have a relationship that seemed to be working well. That's not a fucking relationship Billie. If you didn't want that you should have I don't know said something. Was anything you said up there true tonight. Any of it? Maybe, won't you take it back? Just tell me it was a joke. Say you were trying to make me laugh. And nothing has to change today. We can go back to normal. Friends. Because you didn't mean to say I love you." I started crying.

Billies POV
Because you didn't mean to say I love you." she started crying.
I fucked up. So hard. This guy Q was there and I just missed someone touching me. Kissing me. I knew it would be nothing like Zara's touch, but it was something.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I cant take anything I did back. I wish I fucking could. But I cant. Maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie. Pretend none of this happened. Start over. Please don't cry, I didn't mean to make you cry Zara." I said my voice shaking.
"I love you Billie. But I don't want to anymore."

That fucking hurt.

I sat down next to her. And held her close one last time. She wrapped her arms around me. She smiled at me even though I knew she felt like dying. And we fell apart as it got dark. And I was in her arms in Central park. But I knew there was nothing I could do or say.
"I can never escape the way I love you Bil. But I cant do this anymore. Not after tonight. I'm sorry."
"I love you." I said one last time kissing her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

I got up. Looked at her sad eyes one last time. And left. Just like that she's gone. Out of my life. What the fuck have I done.

____________
A/N
i'm sorry but i had to.