-feelings

first and last

you dont really know what it is until u live it.until you love someone so damn much that the pain is unbearable once theyre gone.until all the sad love songs make you cry until u fall asleep,too tired to be awake in a world where theyre not here with you.until sleeping becomes your happy state and dreaming is the only way to still be with them.
you broke me,once again.but i believe if i had the chance to do it all over again,i would do it.you caused me pain but the love you had to offer me was enough to make it all for me .i just loved you with all my heart,every inch of you.your brown hair und your beautiful sparkly brown eyes.your tall figure and your playful  smile.how your arms wrapped around my small body.how your lips
fit onto mine and how us kissing made me feel alive. i came back every time you broke me,everytime i felt like i couldnt breathe because it felt like i wasnt good enough.if i listened to u,i was always guilty,i was always the one that was melodramatic,that reacted for no reason.my pain was real and yet u didnt ever listen to me.
but this time its different.what u did,its just too much for me to handle.you tried to make me responsible for what u did and u didnt even have the courage to be honest with me or even apologize to me.you didnt realize how much i love u,or should i say "loved" you.you will never change,you will never love me in a healthy way.but,most importantly,know that i wont ever be like any other thing u just own and u will never control me.
this hurts so much to think thats its over,that i wont ever be the one to make u smile or laugh like i used to.i tried to change u and i just failed.i hope someone will love you ten times harder than i did and you will realize that other people in your life care about u too.you cant heal all alone,u need people around you that love u just to get better.the worst thing in all of this is that u dont even know youre not doing well.i truly hope u will actually be happy someday even tho i dont wanna be there to witness it.
we have to let each other go.know that i will always love u and that,even though u might think i hate u right now,u will always be a part of me.all the memories will never go away,all the laughs,all the love,all the fights,
its always gonna be there,with me
ily