i love you ➵ elmax

I

"Has anyone ever written anything for you
In all your darkest hours
Have you ever heard me sing
Listen to me now
You know I'd rather be alone
Than be without you
Don't you know"

The window slams shut and the red head who had been sleeping peacefully just a second ago sits up straight on her chair, looking across the room in confusion. It's a windy night and the girl shudders as she gets up to close the window. The days are slowly getting colder and shorter and the leaves are losing their green color, causing them to turn red and yellow.

Max heads back to her desk again collecting the papers which descended from her table and are now laying on the floor to put them back. In an attempt to finish her essay she must have fallen asleep. She sits down again, trying to find the right words when she notices that her record is still playing softly. She gets back up to turn it off when she stops to listen to the words.

"You know I'd rather be alone
Than be without you
Don't you know"

She sighs.

She's been alone for quite some time now since her brother died and two of her best friends moved to another town, leaving her behind. The friends that stayed in Hawkins including her boyfriend seem to be busy nowadays, not having time for Max at all. And her parents don't even seem to notice her existence. She doesn't remember the last time she exchanged more than three words with either of them.

None of this would be that bad if she had her best friend Eleven by her side. But she is a thousand miles away from Max now. After the horrible incident that caused both Billy and El's father to die Will and El moved away.

At first it was hard for Max to get used to not waking up next to El every morning. And to not falling asleep next to her every night. Max spent as much time as possible at El's house when the brunette still lived there. It was crazy to think that El hated Max at first. But one day El came to Max for advice and that was when a beautiful bond was created.

Max smiles involuntarily at the thought of the day they became friends. It was probably the best day of her life. The girl she absolutely admired and looked up to finally speaking to her was more than she had ever imagined. And she was so happy.

They spent so much time together. They comforted each other. They were there for each other. They held each other when one of them cried.

And Max always believed in El. She never doubted her even after the brunette lost her powers.

It's weird when someone who you grew so close to just disappears and leaves you behind.

Waking up every day to not hearing peaceful breathing next to her and not feeling the warmth of the tiny brunette's body next to her was hard for Max and it felt so weird at first.
It was almost as if Max didn't know how things felt like before El came into her life. As if the life she had before El entered her world was just a memory. But now Eleven started to feel like a memory.

Max gave El her favorite green scrunchie in hopes of the brunette girl remembering her that way.

The last time they talked was a week ago when El called to check up on her. It already feels like a long time. She needs to see her again. Now.

Max sighs. She looks at the clock. It's 4 am. She should just go to sleep. After turning off her record player she makes her way to her bed. She can finish the essay tomorrow before school. Trying not to think too much Max closes her eyes.

At 5 am and another hour of not sleeping she goes to her desk and sits down. She needs to distract herself so she finishes her essay.

At 6 am she gets up and goes to her closet to pick an outfit. It wouldn't make sense to go back to bed now. She has to get ready in an hour anyway.

After going downstairs to drink some water she goes into her room again to get her school stuff and leaves the house.
The air is cold and it's still rather dark outside.
Getting on her skateboard the red head makes her way to a lake which isn't too far away.
Sitting on the green grass she watches the sunrise.
She closes her eyes and inhales the fresh air. She feels the warmth of the first rays of sunlight on her face, letting her thoughts consume her.

She opens her eyes again. After having a look at her watch she gasps. Fuck. It's 9 am. She must've fallen asleep.

She gets on her skateboard quickly, driving to school as fast as humanly possible. "Shit, shit, shit," the red head mumbles under her breath. Arriving at school, she sprints to her class room.

Breathlessly she barges into the room leaving everyone shocked for a second. "I'm so sorry. I overslept!" she begins to explain. Ms. Barnes, her geography teacher just sighs and shakes her head lightly before carrying on with her lesson. Max quickly sits down next to Dustin who looks at her questioningly. She just shrugs and looks down.

After being rescued by the sound of the bell ringing Max quickly gets up to leave when Lucas calls her name. "Are you alright?" he asks. Max looks at him in disbelief. "Oh, so now you care?" she hisses. He winces at her vicious tone of voice. "What is wrong with you?" he whispers. "Oh, nothing. It's just that you've been ignoring me and treating me as if I'm not there. All of you!" she looks at Mike, Lucas and Dustin angrily. They just stare at her in disbelief. "You treat me as if I'm not important. As if I don't miss them, too. Just because I haven't known them since forever doesn't mean their absence does not affect me! I can't believe you!" she yells before stepping out of the class room, leaving her friends behind.

She didn't plan to react that way. She didn't mean to snap at them like that. But she just couldn't hold in the emotions. She feels bad already but a tiny part of her knows that she spoke the truth.

The boys have been ignoring her for quite some time now. Not letting her be a part of their plans. Pushing her away. Leaving her alone with all the pain from not only losing her best friends but her brother, too.