Secrets

Secrets:Chapter One

I pulled into his driveway and turned off the engine. I hated to doing this to them but if I wanted them to be safe I had to.

This was the second time I've left unaccounted for. Well...at least the times I've left and no one heard from me for weeks or months at a time,I told them I was leaving.

I just sat there with my head in my hands not knowing if I should go see them.

They probably hate me for leaving them like this and it'll kill me when I see the look on their faces. It hurts me more than you'd think.

I decided it was for the best to stay with them a couple days and then leave again at least I'll tell them this time.

Last time I couldn't bare to see Matt,Val,and the guy's faces. I slowly dragged my pathetic, sorry ass out of my car.

My Converses and I landed with a thud. I sluggishly made my way to the door. I knocked and heard Matt yell to Val. "I will get it." He didn't sound happy,probably knowing it was me.

The door slowly opened and his facial expression didn't not surprise me. "Alex..." He said starting off sympathetically. "

Where the fuck have you been!! You pretty much gave us a heart attack, don't you know that people care about you! You can't just run off whenever you possibly feel like it."

He said screaming at me with a tone that I didn't like the feeling of. I looked down at my shoes and sighed feeling sorry for myself.

"I-" I started to say sorry but Matt stopped me.

"Alexandra Katherine Sanders...what the fuck is going on? Are you in trouble that you don't want us to find out about.."

I wanted to tell him so badly but my heart told me 'No'. I sighed. "I just needed my space to clear my head..that's all." I lied convincingly. I had always been a good lair,not to brag but I have.

It hurt me to lie to anyone honestly but it killed me to lie to own my brother.

For god's sake what was I turning in to? I honestly didn't wanna be that phone call in the middle of the night.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek slowly thinking about never seeing my friends again. Never being able to cuddle with Jimmy and Brian again,never being able to pick on Johnny again.

Never being able to have six hour talks with ZV again.

I would miss all them things,but if didn't leave I would never see them again that's for sure,but if I left for a little while and let things cool down a least I'll have a 50/50 chance of seeing them again.

Matt seen the tears start to fall and his expression softened and he pulled me in his arms and closed the door.

"Don't leave us like that again or you won't have a place to come back to. Do you understand?"

He said and I nodded knowing exactly what he meant. I heard Jimmy's laughter coming from down the hallway. I smiled knowing I was 'Home' and I wanted to stay so badly,more than anything.

"Matt..who's at door?" I heard him ask. Matt and I smiled. "Come and see for yourself." He said wanting to see Jimmy's face when he saw me.

I heard light running from down the hall. When Jimmy seen me he stopped dead in his tracks. "Is it really my big stallion duck?"

He asked not believing I would come home this time,I didn't blame him,I didn't think I would ether to be honest about it. I laughed and nodded. He tackled me in hug. "Baby Sanders has returned to us!!" He yelled to the guys while spinning me around. I smiled and kissed his cheek lightly.

"Cat!!!" I heard Brian and ZV yell in unison. I smiled and laughed as I was soon tackled but all of them,even Matt.

"Where have you been kitten? And what have you been doing?" Brian asked me in his cute adorable little way. "'Things' and 'Stuff'.." I said smiling. He kissed my cheek. "Well..I'm glad you back and I won't be letting you leave again!" He said in a sing song voice. I smiled and laughed at him.

"How long are you staying?" ZV asked implying that he knew that I would only be staying for a couple of weeks or days even. "I don't know..." I sighed and looked up at Jimmy and Brian who looked hurt and Matt looked angry. I remembered what he had told me when I first got here.

We both knew I would leave again and he would have to stick to his word and kick me out no matter how much it hurt him and no matter how much Val and the guys begged him. I knew Matt,he wasn't one to say something and never do it..he was not all talk.

I glanced at Matt who returned my glance with a mixed signaled glare. Slowly,I looked down at my shoes like once before.

ZV had noticed my dismay and began to give me a Tell-me-please look. I glanced at Jimmy and he smiled at me and pulled me closer to him. "Don't leave again,please?" He said rhetorically. "Jimmy...I love you. You like a brother to me.." I said avoiding his question. "Shorty,you better not leave me again."

He said and I noticed we were the only ones left standing in the living room.

"Jimmy.." I sighed and he hugged me. "Stallion Duck.." He said matching my voice. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his midsection,then put them around his neck. He smiled. "Duckling, me being you mother and all,you cannot leave! I forbid you!" He said laughing. "Oh really.. You forbid me?" I said pushing him backwards and laughing. I ran into the kitchen and hid behind the door.

"Little duckling! Where are you? My baby? It's you mother hen!" I laughed he didn't know the difference between a Hen,goose,and a duck!

I tried to muffle my laughing like a little kid but couldn't.

"Ah Ha! My little duckling is laughing!" He yelled playfully and ran into the kitchen. He tickled me and till I couldn't breathe.

He stopped an plopped in the floor beside me,rolling in the floor from laughing so hard we didn't notice Matt and Val cooking dinner. They stared at us with smirks. I pointed to him "It's his fault!" I smirked. "You guys are crazy.." Val laughed.

"More like insane,Val." I laughed and Matt chuckled.

"Me and Val have to talk,so take you and Jimmy go hang with guys." Matt said. "Oh so you can tell Val things that can't tell me?" I said pretending to mad. "Yeah,Matt." She said laughing. He playfully glared at her with a smirk. "Yes and get out!" He said playfully.

"Oh it's-" I was cut off by Jimmy. He picked me up dragging me out. "Let me at em'! Let me at him em'!!" I said in a weird funny voice and laughing.Jimmy almost fell on the floor laughing. "Come on little duckling 'for the big bad wolf gets ya!" He smiled as we looked for the guys.

We found them upstairs in my room.

"Hey guys!" I said running in like a mad person. They were looking for something and was startled. "Ah!!" They all yelled like I jump scared them,well, I did,but they yelled like a little kid up to something and had gotten got caught by their Mom. "Umm...two questions." I said and they still looked shocked. They were for sure up to something,without a doubt. I would find out one way or another. Just before I was about to ask my questions I seen Johnny hand something to Brian,he kept eye contact with me like he making sure I wasn't looking down a he was I guess suppose to sneak and give it to him,so I pretended like I didn't see him handoff the piece of paper.It was folded into a neat square. I decided it was none if my business so I pushed the feeling that shit was about to go down and it involved that square shaped piece of paper. I figured I was just being paranoid.

"Do you guys wanna go and get something from the store with me and Jimmy and what are you doing in my room?" They all looked at each other for answers for both not just the room one.

Finally, Brian answered. "Yeah,sure. And just looking?" He is said trying to play it smooth. They were caught and they knew it. "Uh,oh so..Hmm.." I said saving the questioned about the 'Paper Handoff' later. Without a doubt shit was about to go down,and that is a fact.

We all walked down stairs. I was going to keep a close eye on these boys. They would get in to something they don't want to. We all drove to the store.

Me and Jimmy needed candy or we wouldn't make it through the day.