"fuck your mom in the asshole!!1!!!" roared Billy Joe Jimbob as he struggled against the chains constricting his body. he was kept shirtless, as to attract fangirls within a 20-mile radius for jake paul to recruit to his army.
"nothing i ain't already done, bub," jake paul snickered. "now shut ur bitch ass up, i gotta very important call to take rn."
Billy Joe Jimbob looked around. he was chained to a drywall, surrounded by a cage made of death lasers, and suspended above a pool of mutant three headed sharks.
"seems escapable," Billy Joe Jimbob murmured to himself as jake paul talked on the phone.
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT MIDGET ORGY WAS ON MY DAD'S TAB!"
Billy Joe Jimbob flinched, his eyes still wandering around looking for the key.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST DAYCARE EVER!" jake paul slammed down the phone.
he looked at Billy Joe Jimbob, who froze. jake paul gave an evil laugh and twiddled his rat stache.
"you know, Billy Joe Jimbob, I-"
jake paul's phone rang again. he looked at Billy Joe Jimbob.
"if you'll excuse me for just a moment"
"yeah man, no worries, i'll just stay right here."
jake paul picked up the phone and Billy Joe Jimbob glanced down at the very bottom of the mutant shark pool. there was a black box-like figure.
perhaps it contained the key to deactivating the laser cage.
"ALRIGHT YOU FAGGOTS IF YOU TRY AND CHARGE ME FOR THAT TODDLER LAPDANCE AGAIN I'LL RAM MY- oh. i'm so sorry, my lord. i didn't realize it was you. forgive me."
Billy Joe Jimbob jerked his arm, realizing his chains were conveniently getting loose.
Could this be his chance to escape?
"yes boss, everything is going to plan..." said jake paul to the mysterious caller.
"not for long, motherfucker," Billy Joe Jimbob murmured, snapping the chains on his arms.
jake paul looked over at Billy Joe Jimbob, who grinned and kept his arms to the wall. obviously nothing looked suspicious at all in the least, so jake paul shrugged and turned back to continue his phone conversation.
Billy Joe Jimbob broke off his leg chains and did a pencil dive into the shark pool.
one of the mutant sharks shot lasers at him from its eyes, but Billy Joe Jimbob dramatically breached the water to dodge it. he landed on its back, ripping the creature in half with ease.
the other mutant three-headed sharks that can shoot lasers out their eyes cowered away in fear.
Billy Joe Jimbob swam to the bottom of the pool, opening the box to reveal a big red button.
he slammed the button, and the laser cage completely vanished.
swimming back up to the surface, Billy Joe Jimbob climbed out of the pool to see jake paul still engrossed in his phone conversation.
"oh im counting on child casualties."
"yes, the more the merrier."
"fuck you mean i can't diddle their corpses?"
"fine. ok."
"it is a sacrifice i am willing to make."
Billy Joe Jimbob realized it wouldn't be long before jake paul would realize his prisoner had escaped. he needed a coverup.
he raced through the team 10 house into a bedroom, where he found the perfect solution.
Greg Paul's blowup doll of logan.
Billy Joe Jimbob climbed up to the drywall and chained it up. then he dove into the pool and pressed the button again.
"shit," said Billy Joe Jimbob in the water, realizing he now couldn't get out again.
"no i'm fine, it's just me and Billy Joe Jimbob here," said jake paul, gesturing to the blowup doll.
Billy Joe Jimbob waited for him to turn around again.
he turned the cage off again and got out.
"here boys!" whispered Billy Joe Jimbob, summoning the mutant sharks.
he took off his shoe and threw it to the bottom.
"go geddit"
the sharks zapped the shoe with their lasers, hitting the button in the process.
"splendid," said Billy Joe Jimbob.
with that, he tiptoed away.
