Brendon Urie
a name widely spat out whenever asked, "who is your inspiration?"
People described him as a perfect, happy guy, yet they seemed to forget he's human too. People tend to forget that he's a mature adult too, and they forget that he has problems too.
He has never fallen in love with anyone, ever. He thinks that love is just a hormone that rushes through people's blood and gets jittery and excited, almost like happy electricity passing through someone.
Yet he has never felt loved, not for his mother, or his father, whether it be a best friend or the person sitting next to him at Math class.
He thinks love is just an emotion, not a permanent thing, he thinks that you only feel love when you see someone you really like. It makes sense when you think of it, you only sigh in satisfaction when you think about the person that you like.
He hates the idea of love and romanticism.
He has never liked the way it rolls off his tongue and it just burns his throat, almost as if he's allergic to it.
But the thing is, he has never loved anyone, he's probably angry to the fact that he can't feel love. and since he has zero experience to it, he just despises it.
You know how when you were a teenager and you hated the idea of having a child yet when you have one you just love it? That was Brendon, yet 30 years have passed and he still hasn't claimed that happiness he immensely craved.
He often has existential crisis' because of this, he just doesn't find the art of living if he just can't love anything, isn't that the meaning of life? To love and hate things around you as you live? Isn't it supposed to be a judgemental world?
We live in a heteronormative world, which means, being a heterosexual is denoted to be a normal or common thing to which if you are a homosexual, you may be classified as an outcast.
It's a judgemental world, and we can't help but judge everything we see, whether you like it or not.
Brendon had often judged love as a forbidden topic for a person and himself to talk about, it was so unacceptable to remember that he doesn't show emotion for anybody affectionately. Which scared him, he's become scared of himself, he became his own fear, to which sounds depressing, but many people experience this.
He would be so frustrated on to why he just can't show genuine affection to another person, he hypothetically thought that if you try to analyse the good things and/or benefits from someone, he would find the person deserving of love, he might see the person deserving of love yet he just can't love them.
Though he quit religion for music and became an atheist, he would still pray to God for him to guide Brendon to a path where he would discover love.
YOU ARE READING
Falling Apart☪
Fanfiction"all was golden when the day met the night." from shattered hearts, forbidden promises, and poisonous lies. Brendon Urie was not up for any loving, he never fell in love, up until he met face to face an enthusiastic young lass which outcast his grey...
