From Miss Good to Miss Bitch

The Unfinished Business

Mid-September

Bursting with tears, Lei was awaken from her sleep. It is still dark in her room. There are only some streaks of lights coming from the nearby street post. Alas tres pa lang ng madaling araw.

She's dreaming again.

Matiim siyang pumikit muli habang nakaupo sa kanyang kama. Nagusot ng isa nyang kamay ang kanyang kumot habang ang isa ay bahagya niyang naisapo sa kanyang noo.

The pain is still there caused by that kind of dream again. Kahit masakit, pinipilit nyang buhayin sa kanyang alaala ang bawat detalye ng kanyang panaginip.

There was this lady that she's so sure she doesn't even want to see but was there on her dream with the guy she's ever wanted to be with. The girl showed her a pillow na sabi nya ay pasalubong daw sa kanya ng lalaki. Hindi nya alam kung kelan pa ulit sila naging ganoon ka-close ng babae upang mag-usap ng ganoon. Yes, even on her dreams she's wondering when and how. Then suddenly, her dreams shifted into a scene kung saan iiwan na daw siya ng lalaki, may dalang mga gamit at pinipili nito ang naroong isang babae. That caused her to weep all her heart na siya niyang ikinagising.

That was her dream. Only a dream but it doesn't stop her from crying.

5 days ago:

"Marge, I dreamt of him last night." Lei says before taking her first sip on her coffee. Marge is like her living diary. She's more than a bestfriend for her.

"Na naman, Lei?! Aba mukhang sisimulan na naman nyan ang BER months dilemna mo ah!" Marge as rolling her eyeballs. She was not shocked pero she can't believe that a certain pattern on her bestfriend's life is starting taking its toll again. Last year lang eh ganito din ang litanya sa kanya nito.

"Hindi ko alam, Marge. Lagi ko na lang syang napapanaginipan."

"Hindi kaya lagi mo syang iniisip kaya nagkakaganyan ka? Sabi kasi ng iba, the more na isipin mo ang isang bagay lalo na at bago ka matulog eh the more possible na mapanaginipan mo ito." Si Marge habang naghuhugas ng plato. Past lunch ng dumating ang kaibigan nito sa kanilang bahay. She offered her lunch pero tumanggi ito kung kaya kape na lang ang inialok nya that she's sure she couldn't refuse.

Lei took a deep breath and said nothing. Maaring tama si Marge. She couldn't deny the fact that this past few days ay ginugulo talaga sya ng alaala ng lalaki. Si Aidan Buencamia.

Kasalukuyan

Lei shook her head. Kakagising lang niya. It's past 8 am already. She's really having a hard time waking up early lalo na nitong nakaraang limang araw. She lazily get up from the bed and open the nearest window. Bahagya ng mainit sa labas. She gently close her eyes upon greeting the fresh morning air. How she hopes to wipe away the memory of her troubled nights. Loneliness clouded her beautiful face as she opened her eyes. May kirot pa din sa puso nya.

Halos tatlong taon na siyang ganito sa tuwing sumasapit ang BER months at mas malala pa ang nararanasan nya ngayon. Kung dati ay madalang nyang mapanaginipan si Aidan sa specific months na yun kada taon, ngayon ay halos araw araw na ito. At kung dati, she's just wondering why, ngaun ay apektado na siya.

Could it be because there is an unfinished business between them?