PERFECTLY TOXIC

Chapter 1: DEMON IN MY SHOE

Different day same routine.. My alarm goes off and i fight my hands through the table to find my alarm clock and  snooze it for ten minutes.. Ten more minutes wont hurt. I cant remember why i have set my alarm up in the first place but oh well....

A few moments later...

The annoying sound buzzes through my ears and it takes me all the strength i have retained to not throw that fucking thing away..
I dismiss it and actually sit up..
I feel  wasted and my head is somehow heavy.. I bet its  from the liquor i had consumed the previous night while out with my friends.. We had had such a crazy night and i am pretty sure i fucked things up.. But i seriously cant recall nothing..
I check my phone to see if i have a text message or something but there are zero notifications... That could be positive.. But then again, what if i screwed shit up the other night? Alcohol does me wrong at most times but i needed  to get away from Everything that was stressing me up, from boy drama to school and just Everything...

I decide on getting up  but am too lazy to make my bed,.
Damn it, Next time id be sure to watch on how much id be drinking..i promise myself...   i settle  for taking a hot shower, maybe that would help clear up my head  and relax the muscles that i seriously feel are stiffened.. 

Bloop!!

DANE; Ammie for fucks sake, we've been apart for six damn months, i don't know why in the fuck would you think i still have feelings for you, am sorry, but, id rather you stop blowing up my phone like some crazy bitch, whatever is done sure is, get on with life , i moved on and its time you do too.

Great, right when i thought people had forgotten about my existence and i decide on moving on with life  is when someone decides to check  in. Rolling my eyes I reach out for my phone, pretty sure its my best friend Rita who is or isn't mad at me..

Talking of Rita, its a little bit weird that she hasn't texted me.. That bitch literally blows up my phone...  With literally everything that's going on around her..
oh no, is that???

Wait i just got a message from Dane.. Why the hell would he text me??

You obviously texted him you desperate bitch.. My subconscious mocks me.

I really hope i didn't do it again, i really hope i didn't get drunk and pour my stupid ass heart  out to him AGAIN.. I mean apart from going out drinking and causing drama , drunk texting him has become my thing, a habit i can say,  that i cant seem to stop doing..
Dane and i...
We have been apart for six months, but I still have feelings for him, not that i could admit it loud to anyone, nope,  that would bring down my ego that i have spent years building. 
but one thing for sure is i still haven't let him go.. Not that anyone knows that but my heart does .. Things got ugly between us and he left and he has never looked back, ever, not even once..
I open the message and freak out... Seriously freak out..
That text message has been sent over to me all the time by Dane and i dont even know why its hitting  different this time.
He is growing cold day by day. and it hurts me soo bad, so freaking bad.. I go through the whole conversation and feel like some damn desperate bitch..

ME; Id do anything to get you back...
Thats what i texted Dane
Lol... What the hell??

My subconcious ", told you"

Way to start my day, choosing to ignore his text message..
i grunt as i drag  to the shower..