Imperfections (Zalfie)

Alfie

(HEY GUYS! SO SEEING AS I HADN'T UPDATED IN AGES, HERE IS A SECOND UPDATE FOR TONIGHT FOR YOU, TO APOLOGISE! SORRY! ILY ALL)

We arrived back at Zoe and Niomi's flat. Niomi was with Marcus so no one else was here. I dropped Zoe's bags onto the couch as she walked off upstairs to shower. 

I looked around the flat to find it practically spotless. Niomi must have been here recently to clean, it looks like someone has deliberately cleaned up after a crime scene. I started to run my hand across all the cabinets in the living room, admiring everything.

I've always loved Zoe' flat, it's so modern and homey. I picked up each photo frame I could see, examining it. I then came across one I hadn't seen before.

It was in a silver frame with a few little swirls around it. The picture was in tact although the sides were crumpled a little as if the picture didn't fit but she tried to get it in anyway.

It was one of us. Zoe and I.

On our first date. We were both smiling and laughing. I noticed the crinkles next to Zoe's eyes as she laughed. That made the picture even more perfect. I looked at her lovingly as she looked back up at me. 

I remember snapping the picture without her noticing from her own phone, then sending it to myself. She must have found it and liked it.

I heard the water turn off from upstairs signalling that she was finished in the shower. I decided to sit on the couch and turn the TV on until she came back. I had nothing else to do anyway.

I started to think about everything, how far we've come this past few months. How we hardly new each other at the start and now we have a baby. 

Not being able to physically hold my baby is killing me. I know it must be killing Zoe too, but I find it hard aswell. I want to hold her and cradle her. Teach her the alphabet and numbers up to 10. I want to be the best father I can. I want to watch her grow up to be a strong independent woman. I want to kill any man who hurts her.

I want to sit with her each night and help her with her homework as her mother does her hair. I want to make her breakfast in the morning as he mother makes her lunch for the day. I want to take her to school every day as her mother goes out to secretly buy an early birthday present.

I want to teach her how to play sports and how to stand up for herself. I want to be there for her, every step of the way. Through her childhood, hormonal teenage years and up until adult hood. I want to walk her down the aisle when she gets married and I want to look after her grandchildren when she wants a break to treat herself.

Knowing I can't do any of that right now, or maybe not in the future, it breaks me. Into a million pieces.

I hadn't known how long I had been sitting there until Zoe came down the stairs and stood infront of me.

"Hey" She soothed, "What's wrong" She rubbed my cheek, brushing a few tears away.

I hadn't realised I was crying until she pointed it out. I smiled sadly at her, "Just thinking about everything, you know?"

She nodded, clearly understanding the situation we're in.

"I know gorgeous," She replied "I know it's hard but we have each other. If we stick together and wait everything out, then one day we will be holding Georgia and watching her grow up. I love you okay, remember that" She then grabbed my hands, picking me up off the couch.

She stepped backwards a little and I followed.

"Now kiss me" She smiled before wrapping her arms around my neck as I attached my lips to hers.