Finding Solace

XIV

As much as my body wanted to succumb to the enviable slumber that this serene place brought me, I wasn't able to. Behind my eyelids were the playback of my memories, haunting me every time I closed my eyes. My mind seemed to wake up rather than shut down. I could visibly see the crimson blood that covered my hands, feel the crisping burn that scorched my back. The deep ache reappeared in my stomach, making me subconsciously double over and grab my abdomen.

I remembered the look in his eyes. The evil glint they held turned scared and then dazed and unfocused. The life left his eyes, leaving him an empty shell of who he once was. The screams echoed in my ears, my own tears cool against my face in the evening darkness.

I lurched forward on the chair, my hands grasping the arm rests so hard that my arms were shaking. I could still feel my skin burning which it probably was. A pink hue was already making itself present, my skin having been sensitive and fair. Though I knew the sun was causing the unbearable heat, my mind was thinking otherwise, my shoulder blade radiating.

"Faylyn?" She asked, her steps causing the weathered wooden floor boards to groan beneath her weight. She was back from getting her fresh cup of coffee, her other had gone too cold for her taste. "Are you alright? Did you see something?" She tilted and turned her head in different directions, trying to see what had spooked the girl so bad.

Her throat was far too constricted to say anything, the invisible hands preventing her to voice a response. The only thing she knew was that she needed to hid. She needed to get away from the heat.

The panicked look and Mrs. Sawyer's face almost matched her own. Wide darting eyes, parted mouth, although the emotions were different. While Mrs. Sawyer was concerned, she herself resembled a pinned animal.

She tried to look calm, keeping her pace moderately fast but not too quick, her face down so no one could see her emotion. As she started up the stairs, she could see many pairs dirty cowboy boots, the Sawyer boys home for lunch. I could feel their questioning eyes on my back, my pace increasing as I ran up the stairs.

"Rose?" Mr. Somers called out.

"I'm out back." She called back. "I think something's out here. Faylyn got spooked."

I fought hard not to succumb to the temptation that the medication's power held over me. Yet, I was tied to them, completely reliant on them and it broke me. That a stupid pill had so much power over me, controlled my life. I pulled open drawer to see the all too familiar bottles, forcing a pill down my throat.

"Get inside to start eating, I'll be in soon." I heard the pump of a cocking shot gun. The sound of silverware against glass sounded, Mr. Sooner joining the table a few minutes later.

"Did ya see anything?"

"No. If she saw anything, it ran off."

"Poor thing looked scared to death."

"I want the animals brought in tonight. Could've been a coyote or something."

"Yes, Sir. We'll head out after lunch. The larger herd is in the farther back pasture."

I was surprised with how much trouble I had caused. Just a simple nap had turned into this fiasco, which made her feel guilty. Just putting those cows back their had taken over half a day, work and time that would be for time. When she heard them start to move around, getting ready to set off, she knew she had to do something. All eyes turned to her as she walked down the stairs, her hands clasped together, trying to hide their trembling.

"I-I'm sorry for what happened early."

"It's quite alright, honey. Did you see something?" Mrs. Somers asked.

"I-I though I did but it was just one of the dogs." The lie tasted sour in her mouth. She had never lied a day in her life.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I saw him round the side of the house from my window." This lie tasted just as foul and her heart hurt from lying to such a nice family but she couldn't not say anything. She most certainly could not blame it one some stupid panic her mind always put her through. She couldn't stand the pity.

"Why don't I make you some tea."Mrs. Somers said and gestured me I to the kitchen. "Don't you boys have work to do?" I knew she shot them a look behind my back because they soon left the house.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I keep causing."

"You never seem to catch a break, do you?" She joked as she put the kettle on the stove.

"I guess I don't."

"Why don't you stay in the house for a few days. At this rate, you're either going to have a heat stroke or a heart attack."

"I-I can't. I have to check on the puppy and the horse and-"

"I'm sure Maverick won't mind doing them. Besides, they were his jobs anyway. He just won't have your company for a few days. Besides, Tawny and Molly are going to be hanging around the house anyway. It's their turn for a break and would love to have a new girlfriend. It's our girls day." She grinned.