Starting Over

Making Preparations

"Thank you for tonight. You have no idea how much -"

He put a hand up to stop me and closed my front door behind us, turning the deadbolt, "Will you stop already?" He dropped an arm over my shoulder and pulled me close as he crossed the living room and headed down the hall toward the bedrooms. I dropped my head, my temple resting on his shoulder, and let him guide me through my house. "I had fun. Really," he added when I scoffed, dropping his cheek to the top of my head and squeezing my shoulder for emphasis, "good food, good beer, good music, how could I not?" We came to the end of the hall, my room to our right, the guest room directly in front of us. He turned me into him, wrapping his free arm around my back and dropping his chin to the top of my head. I inhaled, long and deep, into his chest as I wound my own arms around his waist then let my cheek settle against his collarbone.

"Your kids love you," he added after a second or so. I felt his chin bob against my head as he spoke and it made me smile.

"They're good kids."

"They're smart kids," he corrected. "Smart because of you, and smart for realizing what they got when they got you."

I've never taken compliments well, so I just pulled away - not too far, just enough to shake the heat from my cheeks and look up into his face, my hands resting on his sides. "They got a workaholic high school English teacher with no life. I got roughly 10 of the best kids on the planet." I narrowed my eyes and scrunched my nose - what he called my 'sarcastic face' - and added, "I think we all know who got the better end of that deal."

I knew he wanted to say more, but I guess eight months was long enough for him to learn there was no use fighting me on some things, because he just rolled his eyes and stepped back to look over my shoulder at the master bedroom door. "So ... were you planning to head straight to bed, or did you want to watch a movie or something, maybe have another drink? I'm not really tired, but if you are, I can entertain myself. I brought a couple books with me I've been wanting to get to." He grinned, a little lopsided and a lot adorable, and brushed my bangs to one side with his fingertips.

"Actually," I cleared my throat just a bit and smoothed my palms over first the front then the back of my shorts. I'd mentally prepared myself as much as I could for what I was about to do, but I'd also prepared for the possibility that I'd panic and back out altogether. But the day had gone well - really, really well - and I wanted to go forward more than anything. I was ready. Finally. I was also nervous. "I, um, I kind of had something else in mind entirely."

"Okay?"

I took half a step back and reached behind me to open the door to my room. I pushed so the door swung open fully then switched on the light before stepping back into the hall. "Wait for me?" He lifted one eyebrow and gestured toward the bedroom.

"Uh huh," I nodded. "Just ... you can have a seat on the bed. I'll be right back. I promise," I added with a smile and a quick kiss on his lips when he hesitated. I backed down the hall until he had disappeared into my room, then spun on one heel and made a beeline for the bathroom. I leaned back against the closed door for a second then kicked off my wedges before shimmying out of my shorts and pulling my top over my head. I shoved my clothes into the hamper and dug behind the towels in the closet for the silk robe, stockings, and garter belt I'd bought a few days earlier and hidden just before going to pick him up at the airport. I'd debated grabbing my sexiest pair of heels as well, but that seemed a step too far. Hell, for all I knew, this whole bit was a step too far, but I had put off being with anyone for almost two years. (I'd put off being with him for about seven months longer than it took for me to realize how much I wanted to be with him, but I'd been making decisions out of fear for a very long time.) I needed to do this my way, to take control, even if it was a little cheesy.