What Does it Mean to Love Someone?

Some say love can be great. The giddy feeling I get when I'm around her. My heart fluttering just from the mere thought of her. Every little thing she does is considered adorable in my eyes or the fact every time her name flashes across my phone, I get a rush of excitement. Or when we are apart I just miss her dearly. I feel I can't live without her. I love the little names we have for one another or when they say, "I love you too," when I say it first.

However, love can be a tricky thing. I love her. I love her more than I do anyone else I've ever come to know. I tell her this, but I know she doesn't love me the way I do. We are girls so that just seems normal to us. They say, "Girls will be girls". People say, "I love you," so easily in today's world, that it can lose its true meaning. Every time I say it to her, I mean it differently than she does. I want to tell her about my true feelings for her, but I'm scared to lose the years of friendship we have. I don't want to lose what we have because I do, truly, love her.

All the things that once annoyed me about her, I can't live without. The way she bites the cap on her pen, or her nervous habit she has of biting her nails. Or the fact she rambles on and on about something without stopping, before profusely apologizing for it. I could listen to her every day for hours on end if I could. I love her for the good and the bad.

I stare at her with a smile on my lips. We lay on her bed, studying together. It's troubling, however, because I can't help but stare at her angelic features and plump lips that are jutted out slightly in a pout. He beautiful bright blond hair that cascades down her shoulders. Her dark, green eyes homed in on her history book, barely noticing my fixated gaze on her. Her delicate fingers flipping page after page trying to figure out what she is reading, her face forming into a frown from her confusion, that I can't help but think it utterly adorable.

"I can't figure this out. I hate history," she grumbles. She plops her head into her pink, floral comforter, letting out a huff. I chuckle lightly, and she instantly lifts her head, narrowing her eyes at me.

"It's not funny Alice! I have a test tomorrow on this and I keep mixing up the dates and what-not. Why do we need to know this anyway?" she whines.

"So, we don't repeat it," I say simply, with a shrug.

She rolls her eyes, "Whatever," she mumbles before her face lights up.

"Are you still coming to Aiden's party, since he invited us?" she asks, and I can't help but feel a rush of jealousy.

"Yeah, even though I would much rather do anything else," I mumble, "Why are you even going with him anyway? Did you forget all the shit him and his friends put us through?"

She just shrugs, "The past is the past, we just should move on. He said he regretted it and we were kids back then, so why does it even matter?"

I can't help but feel completely baffled towards her behavior. Regret? Move on? I can't just move on from years of bullying they put us through.

I completely object to the idea of going to his stupid party. It just isn't my kind of thing and most certainly not Jenny's either. We have known each other since late middle school. We would much rather be playing video games, reading books or binge-watching Netflix for hours on end, then get prettied up for Aiden's party.

Aiden Tanner is the most popular, richest, cliché of a guy that I have probably ever meet. He has the perfect house, the perfect parents, the perfect rich guy life that anyone would want. Jenny, of course, might find him way better than me, even though he is a total jerk. He and his friends would pick on us practically every day since the seventh grade for no reason. Every day was torture, from the overwhelming fear of what embarrassing thing they would do next or their aggressive behavior, that was mostly from Aiden himself. The worst thing we would have to do, ate our packed lunches in the girl's restroom, to avoid them stealing it or throwing it away. You could tell a teacher or even the principal, but Aiden would come back worse than before, making it virtually impossible for them to stop.