This had to be the weirdest: well, it wasn't a date; I don't know what it was, but it was weird. Ok, the thing at the door with Tom was expected I guess, even though that scared me a little bit. (Ass) But he's joking with me one minute, lookin at me weird the next. Now I find out he's crazy about me? What the...
Jamie and Natalie came in the restroom and found me brushing my hair. I forced a smile. "Hey ladies!" They both looked like they lost their puppy. "Listen, it's OK. I'm pretty dense. I should've known. Really, he is busy, and he does spend a lot of time with me when he could've been doing other stuff. So don't worry about it." I leaned in for a hug. When I let go, I raised my brows, "Question. How do you two manage to leave the room without being spotted?"
Natalie motioned with her head, "Charlie has 2 bartenders out there. We walk behind them, and no one ever notices."
So after we got back Tom was ready to go. After hugs and a wave to Chris, Tom put on his sunglasses and ballcap, walked behind the bartenders, bid them goodnight, and met me at the end of the bar, and went out the door.
And the ride home...well that was fun: He was eerily silent. I never saw him like this ever and it freaked me out. When I looked at him for a few seconds, and he didn't look back, "Tom?"
"Yes, darling?" No smile and he didn't even look at me.
"Thank you for taking me. I had a lot of fun." Still nothing. I looked out the window, so he didn't see me tear up. I exhaled so I wouldn't have to sniff, but that worked for two seconds. He looked at me concerned and asked, "Are you ok?"
I was irritated now. It takes tears to make him talk to me? Well fuck you Hiddleston!
He took my hand and I took it away fuming. He pulled onto the side of the road, and I got out of the car, slamming the door of his precious Jaguar. We were on a residential area, the houses dark since it was late. I kept walking and he shouted for me twice. He was about 50 feet behind me when I turned and stormed back, so pissed, spit was included in my words. "Are you in love with me?!"
Tom looked away gritting his teeth, tearing up.
I grabbed his shirt collar. "Are you in love with me?"
He looked at me for a second, a tear running down his face, and pulled away walking the other way, shouting, his face full of anguish, "Yes Chelsea! Yes I'm in love with you! But how could I tell you? You made it clear from the beginning that you didn't want a relationship!" He walked slow towards me, looking like he just got punched in the gut. "I also didn't want to tell you. Chelsea, first and foremost, you're my friend. We have a lot of fun together. And I was afraid that if I told you and you didn't reciprocate my feelings...well..." he smiled sadly and motioned his hands back and forth between us, "this would happen. So now you know, and I don't know where we go from here." He sat down on the sidewalk in front of him, stretched out his legs. sighed deeply, and closed his eyes, tears falling from his face.
I was devastated. Standing in front of him, not having a clue as to what to say, I just put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't even look up. I couldn't think about life without Tom, but...
"Tom, I wish I knew what to say. I hate seeing you like this, but there is absolutely nothing I can say that will make this better." He looked at me, his sea blue eyes incredibly sad. "Yeah, we can't go back now. Things are different now. But if you give me time, maybe I might have the same feelings, but..."
He bit the side of his cheek to keep from crying. And looking at that tore me apart. "You see Tom..." keep it together, woman! "there is nothing I can say to make this better, but," I held out my hands to pull him in a standing position. He allowed me and I hugged him tight, tearing up. "I want you in my life. I need you in my life." I looked up at him and said, "Please? Don't leave me!!!" I punched his chest, my forehead on it, tears falling to the ground. It was like loosing Steve all over again.
He soothingly said, "Hey, hey,hey Chelsea." He hooked his fingers under my chin and looked at me. "You are a part of me. I'm not going anywhere!"
******
Sorry this one was short. :(
