Imperfections (Zalfie)

Zoe

"Hey guys" Niomi said as her and Marcus came into the hospital room.

It's around 4pm and we've been here a little over 20 minutes. Niomi and Marcus were coming to see Georgia for a little while.

"Hey" I said, standing up to hug them.

Alfie got up and hugged Marcus and we swapped people, hugging everyone. 

"How is she?" Marcus spoke up.

I sighed, "She can't breathe on her own yet. Who knows how long she will be in here for"

Marcus nodded, understanding how hard this must be for us. 

We all sat down and chatted for a little while, each of us getting a chance to touch Georgia now and again. She is hooked up to all these tubes, one for breathing, one for feeding. It's horrible to even look at. It's not nice to see your baby this way.

"I'm going to get a coffee and a sandwhich, anyone want anything?" I spoke up

The all nodded so I got up and left the incubator room. I walked down the long, eery halls of the hospital in the baby ward.

Left and right, I heard babies crying, babies cooing, parents crying of joy. By the time I walked through the labor ward, I heard the women giving birth and grandparent going into rooms with balloons and flowers. None of that happened for me. My joy was cut short.

I never knew I was crying until a nurse stood infront of me. I hadn't even heard her speak.

"Excuse me miss, are you okay? Should you be up here?" She must think I'm too young to be a mother. Huh, not the only one.

I snapped out of my trance, "Yeah, yeah I'm okay" I sniffled, wiping my stray tears.

"Would you like a seat?" She sat me down in a nearby room, sitting across from me. 

I started breathing through my nose and out my mouth, trying to get my rhythm back to normal. I don't want to have a panic attack infront of this stranger. 

"I'm sorry" I apologised repeatedly.

"No need to apologise miss, are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded, not really wanting to explain my situation to this total stranger, even though she wanted to help. She is a nurse, not a bad person.

"I should really be going, my friends will be wondering where I am" I tried a light smile.

She nodded, handing me a cup of water before I go.

I gulped down the water and stood up, handing the empty cup back to her.

I thanked her again, getting out of the room as fast as I could, not meaning anything bad about it, I just needed out. 

I walked down the halls, faster than before and finally reached the room.

I walked in, panting slightly.

I sat down in the chair, acting normal, or trying to.

"Zoe? Are you okay?" Marcus asked

I looked at him and smiled, nodding a little for reassurance.

I noticed everyone staring at me. I looked down and realised they were looking at my empty hands. I had forgotten why I had gone out!

I fake chuckled lightly before getting up and sprinting out of the room. I shut the door behind me and leant on it, breathing deeply before trying to find the nearest coffee machine.