you've got no clue
how many times I wanted to tear your skin
because I knew things weren't fine
but instead of trying to talk, you just lie
how many times I wanted to cut your eyes
out of their sockets so I could keep them
"windows to the soul" they say
so I could finally know you without a word
ever being exchanged
how many times I wanted to rip your tendons
out of your hands
so you could no longer play the piano
or even the guitar
or any instrument at all
stop the music because it drowned out
the constant ringing in my ears
which I knew would come back
keep my company in your absence
how many times I craved to trace the tip of a knife over your delicate veins and arteries
every time I heard your pulse
especially since you greatly dislike blood
too many childhood traumas stained
drain you of your life force until
you drift away to sleep
just to replace your blood with a black substitute
I love to watch you panic
just so I can reassure you
show you your best interest resides deep in my unbeating heart
I want to tear your body apart
and cause you such distress
because you're always so calm
don't worry, I can tell you it would hurt
I want to hurt you to the point your anger
blocks it all out, all the pain
and I get to see the worst inside you
the worst you promised I'd never see
what you swore to spare me from
I want to show you how much I love you
in leaving destructive scars on your entire body
my love is violent when you ignore it
but sweet and tender when it's rendered special
and if you think I'm just writing this
as a metaphor, you're wrong baby
I sincerely wanted to fucking mutilate you
just like you eventually did to my emotional state
so many times did I have my knife,
running it in circles in my hand
wondering how it would feel if I simply
buried it to the hilt inside your thigh
call me insane baby,
call me any name you can think of
but this is the truth
I'm anything but innocent,
would you dare still call me that?
I wanted to torture you and push you
but of course, I kept the fun pieces of my mind buried so they couldn't come out to play
no fear, just adrenaline
no hate, just a sadistic love
because if I can't fucking have you
I wanted to ruin you to the point
no one would ever want you
YOU ARE READING
The Devil's Love-Ridden Abuse II POETRY Second Edition
PuisiAsh stains on my jeans you're still on my mind cherry on my skin you're still there pain doesn't block you out freezing hands shaking body withdrawals from your warmth butt burning my fingertips burning my lips dying to feel you again strike the...
