Story of my Life

Stop Avoiding Him.

Pic of Kori's dad. ⬆️

It had been a couple days since the carnival, and I had been avoiding Andy. He tried to speak to me in the halls and I would just smile, wave and keep moving. Ever since that dream, things have felt different. Not because of him or my feelings about it, it's more because I keep having the dreams.

                "They don't stop, they just keep changing location and how rough he gets with me. It's gotten to the point that I can't breathe when I'm near him. Every part of me tingles when we're together." I moved the phone from my right ear to my left then held it there with my shoulder.

                 "Do you think that the dreams you've continued to have are a result of pent up feelings for the boy that saved you when you were a kid?" Natalie asked.

I shook my head in understanding, which didn't really make sense because she couldn't see me. "No, I don't think so." I replied.

"Tell me again about your latest dream." She said while shuffling around for a pen.

I sighed dramatically before starting. "We were hanging out at school, and I needed to go to my locker. I got there and didn't realize he came with me. He pushed me against the locker and pressed himself against me, moving out hips together."

I stopped slowly feeling heat rise to my cheeks. "I pushed him back with my hips and turned around to tell him to stop, but he kissed me. His hands slid down the back of my pants and he picked me up." I laid flat on my bed and sighed heavily to myself, because I couldn't keep going.

"It's okay Kori, I get the gist. So some of his actions seem aggressive and maybe even possessive. Has he ever shown you that?"

"No! That's what makes these dreams even weirder. The first dream, when I was in his truck seemed more like him, then every dream after that has been different." I sat up on my bed and scooted myself against the headboard.

"Okay, what happened in the first dream that hasn't happened in the other ones?"

I thought for a moment trying my best to remember what happened specifically, then it hit me. "I told him I'm trans in the first dream." I said anxiously.

We both sat for a moment thinking about what that could really mean for myself and for my communication with him. "In your most recent dreams he is more aggressive yes? He seems less passionate."

"Yes!" I said nervously.

"So! I think that you're mind is creating these aggressive scenarios, because you think that when you tell him he won't like you anymore. It is common for people to automatically believe that things are going to change for the negative when they expose themselves to another person."

I nodded again as if she could see me and she finished. "Kori, I feel it would be beneficial for you to go to the address and see the boy that you saved. If he still lives there then express your gratitude to him. Then try having a conversation and pushing through the tempting feelings you get around Andy. I have to go, but I'll be expecting your call in about two week." The phone hung up and I was left alone on my bed.

"Express myself and push through the weird feelings I get around Andy." I repeated that to myself and thought about how I should do it. Then I started to question everything that would come with that! "What if he is angry? I haven't been talking to him. How would I even start."

I heard the front door open and I jumped off my bed to go see my mom, but when I heard the mans voice. I thought it would be best to stay in my room.