Emma,
I hate myself for writing this letter, but I couldn't stand it. I always was so proud of being honest but there's one person I always lied to. My self. and now I'm searching for a light in the dark room thats called my mind and the only light I can find is every memory of you. the way you said my name when you were laughing at me because I've done someting quite stupid. the way you smiled at me when I made a joke. the way you hugged me when you said hello to me. the way you fliped your hair and the way you didn't even know that you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
do you still know how we get to know each other? I remember every second of it, because its the best thing that ever happend to me. you where the first time in london and you ran from place to place because you wanted to see everthing you could see. after I've noticed you, I watched you a little amused but then I summon all my courage and tipped on your shoulder. I couln'd stand to stare at you're beautiful face and your amazing eyes. you looked quite questioning and i asked you if you wanted me to show you my 'home town' london. friendly as you are you said yes, even you knew I was lying and we had really a lot of fun because I was so confused about your beauty and your wonderful character that I couldn't speak clearly. it's still really embarassing for me to talk about that, but I gotta go on. from that on we became best friends and I was really sad when you had to left england and had to go back to germany. I missed you that much that I played with the thought to just jump in the next flight to see you again. but then we wrote everyday with each other and we talked so long on the telephone that my bill was so high i had to pay over 200 $. but it was okay for me because you were my best friend and I wanted to hear your voice everytime I could. then came the day my heart broke in two. you said me that you could go to the university here in london and I was so happy to see you again. but as I picked you up on the airport the jealousy crawled up to my heart. there was an other guy on your side. a guy that kissed first your cheek and then your mouth. in this moment my heart splintered into thousant of dead pieces. but I smiled and i got to know patrick. he was the perfekt guy. good looking and nice. i couln'd stand asking my self if I could be a better partner for you, but I put these thoughts aside and tried to tolerate patrick. but everytime he hugged you, everytime he touched you, everytime he kissed you, I noticed the strong need to just put HIM aside and take his place next to you. even I then knew that I was in love with you, I tried to be the best friend that I could be. I was there when you were happy, I was there when you were sad and I was there after patrick left you for an other girl that got pregnant because he defrauted you. you cried a lot and I got so angry on patrick that I wanted to knock on his door and hit him straight in his nice face. and that's what I've done. I never told you, because i knew you would've been really angry at me, but I had to do that.
after you were okay again, I wanted to say you that I was in love with you, but I couldn't ... days, weeks and months passed and now I'm wirting this letter, to confess that I'm really loving you but I'd understand if you would ignore this because i don't want you to feel embarrased.
I love you emma and I don't want to live without you. Please understand.
Niall
hihi ich glaub meine lustige vani kriegt grad voll die krämpfe weil ich nur so gammlige one shots hochlade anstatt endlich an meinem nächsten chap weiter zu schreiben, aber hey! ist mir grad sowas von egal xD ach und sorry das der hier auf englisch ist :DD ich hatte iwie mal bock dazu xD - caro xx
