Hey Masky Hey Masky Hey Masky

!!Vent warning!!

So at my last sleepover with my girlfriend and one of my best friends we were playing video games and stuff when they both started talking about their parents. And I know that they both have at least one pretty sucky parent, so I tried to let them vent for a few minutes even though it made me extremely uncomfortable. After a few minutes I asked them if we could maybe talk about something else, but they basically told me "We've started talking and now we can't stop so just let us finish, shush". And so they kept talking, and I just sat there in silence trying not to cry over how much I just wanted them to stop. Sometime during the conversation, my girlfriend turned to me and said "Compared to us, you have a perfect life" and my best friend was like "Yeah Norah, your parents are so nice and nobody hates you and you don't have any problems". And that was it. I just burst into tears. They both knew that I try my best to help people with problems like that, and being reminded that I seem to have a better life than them just breaks me and makes me feel like I'm a terrible friend because I have an accepting mom and food in my pantry. And I just kept crying because not only does it make me feel terrible to think that I have it better than some of my friends, but that I've been having problems too that I just never talk about. My sister's been trying to emotionally manipulate me ever since she moved out, my dad's been yelling at me and calling me unhealthy for everything I eat. Now I'm underweight and eat much smaller portions than any normal person my age should be eating and he still talks me down constantly. I'd rather curl up in a dark room and suffocate myself under my blankets then go outside and try to talk to people because I'm scared that I won't be good enough for them or they won't like me. I bottled up my emotions for too long and ended up having a breakdown at school, and the first thing I was told when I calmed down was that I made my girlfriend upset by not talking to her and that I had to apologize. I had a complete meltdown in math class because I couldn't find my planner and was terrified of being yelled at. I was too scared to admit that I'm feeling depressed on a test because my mom was just hovering over me and watching me fill in the questions, and I didn't want to worry her or make her angry. And now I'm sitting in my room in the dark, crying my eyes out while trying not to make a mess or wake anyone up because I don't want to be an inconvenience to them.