zoos are furry dreamland

Untitled Part 1

Ryoichi waited at the designated meeting place for his beloved as they were to engage in a date of all things. Well they would if Kogen ever showed his fugly ass round these parts. At this rate they were going to be at LEAST 20 seconds late to their prized destination. Ryo sighed. Typical fucking Inaba behavior. When that rat finally showed up Ryo was gonna beat his ass.

As if that somehow summoned him Kogen finally showed up, leisurely strolling up to Ryo as if he wasn't a whole 35.3 seconds late. Ryo punched Kogen in the arm so hard that both of the kid's moms could feel it and all of Kogen's arm bones completely shattered. Cool that eliminated the last activity Kogen had planned from this date.

"You're late," Ryo stated like it mattered at all to anyone.

"Don't be so strict babe we are going to have fun today!" Kogen grabbed Ryo's arm with his non broken hand, which merely elicited an exasperated huff from his smurf boyfriend.

After a quick but sexy trip to the ER Kogen was fitted with a bright blue cast he claimed matched Ryo's "sky blue hair that belonged on a my little pony." The ER staff couldn't get rid of the two kids fast enough.

"Babe," Kogen produced a marker from God knows where and bent down on one knee. Was he sparkling??? Oh shit.

"Will you do me the absolutely RADICAL honor... of .... signing my cast?" Kogen stared up at Ryoichi with glittery anime eyes that Ryo thought were... well... pretty disgusting!

"Yeah ok whatever speeds this shit up and makes it end faster," Ryo drew a penis on Kogen's cast and threw the marker in a nearby sewer. "Now let's get this show on the fucking road."

Finally the two ended up at their destination. The zoo!! After trekking for..... So long.... And enduring such a tumultuous journey... they made it! Ryo and Kogen were starting to think they would never see civilization again and if Ryo had any emotions other than default anger he may have shed a tear at the sight of the zoo entrance. (They walked like 2 blocks from the ER)

"Come on babe let's go!! I wanna see the reptiles!! Or- oh god WHAT IF THERE ARE BABY PANDAS RYO?! WE HAVE TO GET INSIDE-" Kogen tried to run inside but Ryoichi grabbed the collar of Kogen's shirt and pulled him back.

"Do you WANT to be shot by security?! we have to buy tickets first you absolute buffoon!"

Kogen pouted but allowed Ryo to drag him to the ticket line. It was only a matter of hours waiting in the boring ass line in the hot ass sun before they were finally in!

Ryoichi was right though, the security guards were paying an uncomfortable amount of attention to the two and they looked.... Possibly familiar?? Well whatever! Kogen wasn't worried!

"So Ryo what would you like to see first?" Kogen tried to spread out a map of the zoo with his one free hand but failed miserably so Ryo snatched it and opened it instead.

"Well..." Ryo averted his eyes by looking down at the map. He appeared almost... bashful?? Oh that hit Kogen in the heart. "I want to see the lions and tigers... or whatever." Ryo blushed a little. Yeah he liked cats so what! Kogen took a moment to thank every god in existence for giving him such a cute boyfriend and found himself almost sobbing.

"Of course my beautiful babe anything you want," Kogen sniffled before taking Ryo's hand and practically running to the big cat section of the zoo.

The two enjoyed a few hours at the zoo. They got ice cream and Kogen even managed to convince Ryoichi to put on some tiger ears they found at a vendor stand. He kept them on for barely a few seconds but it was long enough for Kogen to snap a picture for his new phone background.

Notably, Kogen also tried to mindmeld with every reptile in the reptile house but the only animal that reacted to him was a tarantula. It had jumped onto the glass of the enclosure when Kogen was extremely close to it and let's just say the boys had to be quietly escorted out of the reptile house. Also despite every animal seeming to want to fight Ryo though their enclosures, the date seemed to be going quite successfully! Which of course meant something bad had to happen to ruin it!

Because Kogen was dumb and thought animals were cool they were going to die. The pair's last stop was the grizzly bear exhibit. Kogen leaned over the railing to the enclosure probably more than what was considered safe and with a swift bump from a passerby the idiot fell 20 something feet into the enclosure. Well at least Ryoichi wasn't down there too- and Ryo was pushed in as well. But hey on the bright side Kogen couldn't break his arm twice- and Ryo fell on his other arm and broke that. Ok cool.

"Yo what the fuck?!" Ryo screached. He looked up to try and pinpoint who the fuck shoved them in and Ryoichi could swear he saw those 'security guards' from earlier running away. Absolutely fanfuckingtastic!

"Babe, honey, sweetie, could you PLEASE get off of me I don't want to shatter anymore bones- although broken bones are nothing in comparison to a broken heart so- don't give me that either!" Kogen was sobbing into the dirt.

"Oh... sorry," Ryo got up and suddenly remembered they were in a bear enclosure. Even more fanfuckingtastic! He looked around and spotted the bear asleep and a few meters away. Finally some good luck-

"Hey what are you guys doing down there??" A voice called from above. Kogen and Ryo looked up and it was none other than-

"Katsubro!!!! Hey man how the heck are ya?" Kogen chirped excitedly from his crumpled place in the dirt. Who would have thought he'd run into his best bro while on a date with his beautiful boyfriend! The gods were smiling on Kogen today that's for sure!

"Um i'm good are you... ok???" Katsuko looked like he wasn't processing the situation but then a small figure peaked out from behind him.

'Great,' Ryo thought. The little shrimp, Daisuke, was gonna see him in this compromising position too. As if Kinoshit wasn't bad enough!

"Obviously neither of us are ok! So could you two lovebirds stop gawking and be useful for once! ... Kogen needs to go to the ER again..." Ryo sighed.

"Again?! Uh don't worry guys Daisuke and I will get you out of there!" God Ryo had never seen Kinoshit look so smug (Katsu wasn't really) this was absolutely disgusting and of COURSE there HAD to be witnesses to Ryo accepting help from fucking Katsuko of all people. Damn. Fate was cruel.

In any case Ryo and Kogen wouldn't forget this date and now Kogen had two casts with penises! All courtesy of Ryo!