Shawne Mendes dating my best freind

our special place#1

I'm proud of it so please read:) let me know what I should change

I grew up being very close to the Mendes family. They our a second family to me. This is because of my mom she grew up being friends with Karen. On a less positive note, my dad died when I was 10 and so Manuel ,Shawn's dad ,totally took over in my life as the father figure and I could never thank him enough, he is truly amazing. I couldn't imagine a life with out Aaliyah by my side she was always and amazing person to take a brake and have a laugh with. Shawn, her brother UGGGH he is so cute and I have everything to give to him. he is patient and understanding and so poetic with his words, he helped me trough some really hard times like when my dad passed. Away he had sleepovers with me the whole first week of his passing and I will never forget the first night after he died, I could not fall asleep, I was thinking about my father, I cried I held back my tears trying so hard to stay quiet, I did not want to wake Shawn but then Shawn woke up from the sound of my tears and pulled me close to him and said (sh sh sh). It will be okay. "He started talking softly saying I can't imagine how you feel but I am not going anywhere not until you feel better. I know that right now the pain is a lot, and maybe you think it will never go away, I will be here tell the day it does, I love you". I swear to this day I can still hear Shawn's little baby voice saying that. (haha)
What I hate most is that because we're family friends and his family is to important to me I can't risk losing them. So I never could let my self risk anything about  our relationships to tell him how I feel. People will always come up to me and ask me what it's like to be friends with Shawn because he is famous , and honestly it's the same as having anyone else be my freind. Except for the fact that no one compares to how awesome he is.
Currently it's Summer time. Last night I got a call from Shawn asking me if I wanted to hang out with him and go to our special place. Are place is this beautiful open field right on the outskirts of Pickering Ontario. Of course I said yes, when he asked me. When we were little we used to go there and play games all day as kids but as we got older and things changed and now we go there so me and Shawn can get a break and relax. Shawn likes to sit, think, play guitar and write words in to his leather note book. He always says " being out there helps me get my mind free gives me the ability to slow down and think and let myself be creative". We always always end up getting into these deep conversations that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. These memories are really perfect. I feel like I learn something new about Shawn every time.

  Its currently 8:00 pm and Shawn said that he would be picking me up at
around 8:20, so I finished adding the last bits to my makeup wich is a very little amount. I only do mascara and light pink lipstick. Right as I finished I hear a knock on my door, it must be Shawn. "Come in" I said. Then I saw him standing there with his beautiful cheeky smile and his curly hair. Just normal, not done up so that his curls hang loosely. He was wearing his Harry-Potter shirt and some black skinny jeans like always, and his black acoustic guitar was strapped around his shoulder. It's his favorite one to bring out there into the field. He looked so cute, (o) how I wish I could kiss him. He looked kinda nervous but I didn't think anything about it, last year we went down there in fall and Shawn told me about his new struggles with anxiety, so I thought it might just be that, maybe he just had a tough week.We got in the car. It's a long drive out there so Shawn gave me his phone which had been connected to the car. I guess he did it on his way over to get me. I opened it, yes I know I have a thumb print in his phone but that's just my life. Sometimes I feel like we both trust each more than we trust our selves. Any ways I click on me and Shawn's playlist some of the songs are sad and some are sweet. He had either dedicated them to me or he personally wrote them about me like Understand and Little to Much and Never be Alone. Because when he would leave on tour and I would feel all alone at times. After me getting bullied I lost all of my friends except Shawn. Shawn knows that I get bullied in school, they used to call me fat or say that I am the reason my dad died, which is dumb because I didn't make my dad get in a car accident, I wasn't even there. I couldn't stop myself it from letting it get to me and hurt me,  for a while I wouldn't eat, i would cry myself to sleep. until Shawn told my mom what was up. When he first told her I got very mad at him, but now I am glad he did. I got help and therapy and Shawn never stops telling me little things I needed to hear.  like I am just perfect the way I am. The rest of the songs are just ones we had both fallen in love with like Easily by Bruno Major and many others. After about 20 minutes of me and Shawn singing we pulled up to the field and Shawn drove his car backwards and parked it then he  got all our blankets and pillows out. After we got all set up I sat down and looked at Shawn he looked up from his guitar and smiled at. Then he looked down and kept toning his guitar.  I decided to lay down and listen to him try out some new melodies and lyrics. I laid my head on Shawn's legs and looked out at the beautiful sun set above me. Once it started to get a little colder and darker I sat up and Shawn put his guitar down and wrapped a blanket around me and him. As he put his arm around me his action caused me to shiver under his touch.
"How's life been going we haven't talked in a few days"
"good"
I sighed
"sometimes it feel like the hard stuff will never end yet the good things leave so quickly"
"I understand that's why people will never stop telling you to hold on to the good things while you have it and there right Those memories can help a lot when going trough anything"
he said
"I have no idea if this is there right time but if I don't do it now I never will"
"well I don't know if this will make how you feel better or worse I hope it makes it better but y/n do you like me if not it's cool I just feel like you recently started to".
"I Dont know what to say I I...."

{Go to next chapter I had to cut it off so it's not to long there will be a part 2 and 3 thx for reading ily - Ella } follow me @sawn.p.r.m.army