The Name of a Mother

Delima

The Name of a Mother

…

The senior inspector rubbed his face with his both palms one more time. Later, he ran his fingers through his hair and made a fist. His elbows were resting on his corresponding knees and his demeanour was slightly tilted forward while he was sitting on the sofa. He was visibly tensed. It was hard. Really hard for him to make himself came here. And now when he's sitting here he still wanted to run out of the gate grabbing any next opportunities he was going to find. For unknown reasons he was afraid of the consequences.

Daya was positive though. He had asked his best friend to calm down and go with the decision and he's sure that the result would be positive. Abhijeet too wished that. But, he couldn't exclude the negative points. More than that he thought he was asking too much, that he was being a little selfish.

A shadow was hovering over his heart, like it was trying to take away something very precious to him. He's fearing of losing something, something very dear. He felt like he was doing injustice. He felt like he's taking advantages. And yet he decided to do so because he couldn't find someone more trustable than the person he was with right now.

"Tarika,'' he called his unofficial girlfriend aloud with an impatient voice.

''Yes Abhijeet. Coming. Two minutes.'' His girlfriend responded from kitchen.

''Tarika, I don't need anything. Please.''

''Two minutes Abhijeet. A cup of tea won't harm, will it?''

Abhijeet shook his head and relaxed himself a bit by resting his head on headrest of the sofa. How would he break the news to her? How would she react? He knew she couldn't say no to him but that's the problem. Wasn't he dragging her into it? In their relationship he's always the taker and Tarika, she's always the giver. She gave him love, affection, support, time, every single thing she could afford. And he felt like he's never the one returning the mere part of those. And here he was, sitting in her drawing room at this hour of night, planning to ask her another favour. He felt guilt. He felt small, because he thought he shouldn't do this. The mere idea of his words hurting her an inch was making him vulnerable.

'Ýou are overthing Abhijeet.' Daya had told him numerous times. Abhijeet knew she wouldn't say no and this thought was killing him. If she would say no … no, she wouldn't. And he didn't want her to say no. It was an urgent need.

''Here's your tea,'' Tarika said, placing the cup on table. She took the seat opposite to him. Slowly Abhijeet sat up straight.

''Must be very tired,'' Tarika concluded seeing his demeanour.

Abhijeet gave a small chuckle and sipped from his cup. The strong flavour ran through his veins and he felt his head lighting. The heaviness were wearing off as he's taking sip after sip from his cup. He could feel Tarika's constant gaze on him. She's really a patient person. She never urge him to speak. She gave him time, ampule time. And he took advantages of the giving time to make himself comfortable in her presence.

He finished his tea and placing the cup on table looked up at her. Her eyes were waiting to meet his' and when they met Abhijeet found himself in his comfort zone. Her warm eyes were very welcoming, encouraging. The way her one palm was under her chin and the elbow on the hand rest she was looking like a goddess of patient to him. He chuckled on his mind at his comment.

''Umm…'' Abhijeet paused after this and looked down.

''How's Shriya?'' Tarika asked.

Abhijeet looked up at her with a jerk.

''Wo.. she's fine. She's staying with Daya tonight.''

''You are going somewhere?''

''No.. no. I am little busy..''

Tarika nodded.

''Had dinner?'' She asked again.

''Umm.. yeah.''

''Why are you stammering Abhijeet? Any problem? You seem tensed.'' Tarika was worried.

''I am fine. Everything is fine.''

''It certainly doesn't look so,'' retorted Tarika.

Abhijeet took a deep breath.

''Actually Tarika..''

''What's the matter Abhijeet? I really feel scared when you behave like this.''Her voice was soft.

''Tarika… Are.. Are you free tomorrow?''

He shouldn't have started like that. He knew. But his mind was not working well. He was going nuts with every passing seconds.

''Not outside the lab,'' said Tarika. ''Why? Are you taking me out on a date?'' Tarika teased him.

''Nothing like that,'' Abhijeet was embarrassed.

''I know. I was just kidding. Why did you ask?''

''Can you take a leave for first half and come with me to the court?''

''Court?''

''Yeah.. Actually..''

''As a witness?''

This girl was really curious. Couldn't she just let him speak? But he wouldn't dare to speak it aloud. Not now.

''We need to meet the lawyer. Have some paper works for Shriya's adaptation.''

''Oh, that's great. Okay. I will call Salunke sir and let him know I will be late tomorrow. Shriya is also coming with us?''

''No,'' Abhijeet looked down.

''Oh. Abhijeet, why are you so tensed? Everything will be just fine.''

''Tarika,'' Abhijeet looked into her eyes. Slowly he shifted his position. His knees were touching hers and he held her both hands in his hands.

She wasn't unknown with his touches but whenever he held her hands like that she couldn't control the butterflies in her stomach. How many times he had done it she couldn't count. At first it used to raise hopes in her heart that he would propose her right then. But now, she had given up on it. The butterflies wouldn't stop though. She looked into his eyes but couldn't find the love. There's some urge, some pain and a lot of guilt she could see. Her heart sank down. Not because there's no love in his eyes but she could see guilt in them, a hesitation behind it. Since when he had to feel guilt to say something to her? Since when she had started developing this feelings into him? Since when? She's always encouraging and understanding towards him. She even gave him hints that even if he declares an end of their relationship she would understand. Because this man, sitting in front of her didn't love her as much as she did but he loved her with all that he had.

''Abhijeet,'' she whispered, '' I always try to understand you. I know you want something from me. Tell it.''

''Will you give it to me?''

''Of course.'''

''What if you can't? What if it's not so easy for you?''

''You won't ask something which I can't give you.''

''It may hurt you.''

''Let me decide it.''

''Promise me you will say no if you feel I am asking too much from you.''

''I..''

''Promise.''

''Okay. Promise. Now tell me.''

''I may sound very selfish but.. will you sign Shriya's adaptation form? Will you give her a mother's name?''

.