Denying Dylan | ✔️

(15) "Smile. You're on camera."

"Is that a joke?"

I stare at Megan and feel like I'm going to be sick. Her tears pool and spill as she stares at me. There's no chance that she can act that well. Her expression is pure fear and uncertainty. There's a desperation there too and I look at her stomach, the words 'baby brother' float across my vision

"Are you dumb?!" I shoot up out of the sofa and slap a hand across my forehead. The room starts to spin and I inhale a deep breath. "How could this happen?! How did you let this happen?! You're supposed to be the smart one! I've been around the block a time or two and even I've never been pregnant!"

"I know," Megan cries, dropping her forehead onto her knees. She hugs herself tight and I watch her as I come back down from the state that I'd been in. I doubt yelling at her is going to help. I know that I need to calm down before we continue this conversation. Shock aside, this is her news. It's her pregnancy and her life that will change. I'm just the big sister.

Big as in twenty five— or six by then— years.

Oh wow.

"Is that where you were this afternoon? Kevin's place?" I question, more gentle than I had been a moment ago. She nods, her face still buried. "I'm guessing no one is thrilled about it."

She lifts her head. Her cheeks are red and glistening, her nose is bright as well. "He told me," she sniffs and wipes at her face. "That if I keep it, he wants no part of it. I mean, he doesn't want me to keep it but he said that he's letting me know now, he won't be involved. He doesn't want another child."

While I'm not surprised, I am. It's obvious that Kevin isn't paternal. He has no patience and his head is so far up his own ass that his he's just full of shit. But I thought that he might pounce on even the slightest chance to have a son. Or a chance to continue the family name. It ends with me.

"What do you want to do?" I quietly ask.

She stares at her lap, a slight quiver in her lip as she shakes her head. "I don't know, Bethany."

The room falls quiet. I don't know what to tell her. I don't even have an opinion or a preference. I mean, would I love to have a little brother? Is it weird that my dad is going to be a father again. Well, from the sounds of it, he's a sperm donor more than anything. I'm not even conflicted about how I feel. It's like, I feel nothing. Shock. I feel shock. But besides that, she could do whatever she wanted and I'd still respect her.

"I just want you to know that even if my dad isn't around, I will be," I tell her, nodding hard enough that I hope she feels how sincere I am. "But we can be friends no matter what. Just let me know when you decide. Okay?"

She doesn't say anything. But I can tell that she's grateful.

The first thing that I want to do is call Dylan and tell him about this. I want to ask him what he thinks and how he'd feel if he was me. It's been almost two weeks since we came home from New Zealand. Perhaps it's about time I reach out. We could talk. The point of our absence was so that I could get to a place where I felt like I didn't need to depend on him for everything. That our friendship could handle some boundaries. A place where I didn't feel hopelessly and desperately in love with him.

Alright, I doubt that two weeks had cured that. But still. I should reach out. We should talk at the least.

"So what should we do?" I ask Megan and begin to unbutton my coat. "We could watch a movie? Get some Chinese? Or we could sit in that amazing window seat and just. . . do nothing?"

"Actually," she exhales and looks as though she's about to start blubbering again. "I think I really need to be alone for a bit. It's nothing personal. I think I'll just get into bed and see if I can figure out what I'm going to do."