The weather was as chilly as it could be. It's 31st Dec tomorrow, or should I say, it's 31st Dec in about an hour. Last day of the year was awaiting. I could imagine my mother preparing for New Year. I grimaced at the thought. It feels like a decade ago.
"Would you like to have something?" My thoughts were broken by a very kind voice. I looked up to find a woman in uniform waiting for an answer.
"I'm good. Thanks"
She nodded and left, it wasn't a big deal for her. She probably saw hundreds of people in a day, sitting lost on these old benches. She probably had sympathised with the people she met on her first day, and probably got used to it. I looked around to find some people still sitting. Some slept on the seats. The corridor was mostly empty though, no one likes to spend a night in hospitals.
I was too tired to sit and too worried to sleep. I closed my eyes and found myself amidst memories that were well buried till now. I could see my mother run behind to feed me. I could see my father surprise her on birthdays and anniversaries, and I would see the precious smile on her face. I had whole of my childhood in front of me. I thought about our house, it's been days since I last saw it. I imagined her to be inside the kitchen, cooking something. I would smell it from my room and run towards her to taste whatever she cooked. My heart warmed at the feeling I longed for. I felt a smile find its way on my face, but reality hit it hard. My face dropped. I had stopped crying since the morning, I had no tears left.
I got up and walked towards her room. I had to get in sometime, I knew I could not ignore the truth for a long time. I entered the room and found her awake. She looked at me and smiled. I fought back tears, I guess I was wrong when I thought I didn't have tears left.
"Beta, come sit with me" Her voice was weak, but still was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I sat down next to her quietly. I knew if I spoke up, I will cry and I didn't like people seeing me cry.
"I always felt lucky, that I had you. I tried my best to give everything to you and I know I succeeded at being mother because of the beautiful woman you've become. If you love me, even the slightest bit, can I ask for something?"
I could not utter a single word, not like I had anything to say. I was happy hearing her forever, although I knew, her forever was not too long. I nodded.
Her face dropped a little, "Let me go child. We both know the truth and it won't change if we don't speak it louder. I know I'm going to die. That maybe tomorrow or next week, but it is sure. I want to say this now, before I can not anymore. I love you and I'm proud of you. I want you to love yourself as much as I did, and not suffer."
I could not stop, I cried and cried. One of the rare moments I let my guard down.
"If possible, I will definitely come back as a ghost. Don't be scared if you hear someone knock your window at night". I laughed. As always, she made me laugh in the most difficult situation of my life.
I went into the New Year alone. I could feel her with me and yet her absence was devastating. I now understood why she talked to me that day. I knew if she didn't talk to me, I would have lost hope, I would have thought she wanted to stay and couldn't. And even hours before her death, she was thinking about the coming years of my life.
