Months ago, I was affected by changes.
Alone.
Independent.
Trying to stand on my own. The feeling of nostalgia made me wish to just turn back time. But it can’t.
And it should not be.
One gloomy day. I was in the chapel. Sitting in the front of God, crying.
I’m sick.
Tired.
Exhausted.
Dretending to be strong though deep inside I’m so weak for so long.
If you were just here beside me, things may be better. Things may be fine.
And I will never fake a smile.
I blame you for leaving. I blame you for being so far. I blame you for letting go of my hand when I’m still learning to stand.
But you know what? I’m asking God to make you happy. Making sure you are fine. I wish you’re doing well. No, not wish. Coz even if I am not seeing you right now, I know that you are.
Happy.
Smiling genuinely.
… Without me.
Maybe I’m just missing you. Maybe twas my mistake. Not giving others the chance.
But please give me the time say what I feel. Give me the last time to cry. Coz after this, I’m leaving your mem’ries behind.
I hope that one day, when our paths will gonna cross again, I can now smile at you.
No guilt.
No anger.
Not fake.
Just for real. And I’ll see you soon :)
