"I always smile in every little thing. I hide every pain in my lips. But there's one smile that I will never fake. My Smile when I'm with Jennie Kim. She's the only one I love even if she's not mine. So strange." ~Lisa
Another day seeing her. Another day breaking my heart. We used to be always together and now she's dating the man of her life while me, damn gays JENNIE KIM is my oxygen. I am fucking in love with her.
"Lisayahhhhh!" I saw Jennie running while calling my name.
"Why Jennie unnie? Do you need something?" I asked. I don't wanna call her NINI because someone already calling her that nickname even if I'm the one who gave her that. Confusion is written all over her face.
"Do you want to have breakfast with us?" Ohh. With Kai. Her Boyfriend.
"No thanks unnie. I'm not hungry. I'm gonna meet Chaeng for some matters." I softly says.
"Oww. Okay. Take care Lisa." I saw something in her face. Is that sadness? Maybe not. She should be happy because she's gonna spend her whole damn time with her man. While me, I'm just gonna cry my heart out wishing that someday she will be mine.
"Lisaaaa! I miss you girl"
"What the hell Chipmunk?! Are you gonna fucking kill me? You damn startled me you gayshit!" I shouted at her. I swear, I thought my heart would gonna jump out from my chest. She pouted and hug me.
"Sorry lisayahhh. I just miss you." My heart melted.
"It's okay just don't wanna repeat it again. You almost kill me" I said, while holding my chest.
"Okieee dokiee" she said while giggling.
"So what's with the meet up, Babe?" She teased me. I groaned.
"Park Chaeyoung! Stop with the flirt I might fucking pinch your cheeks until it gets swollen!"
She suddenly raised her hand. "Calm down Manoban. Just chill"
She laughed.
"So whats up? Is Jennie unnie is the reason behind our meet up?"
She asked.
"Why do you think it's her?" I asked her.
"I just know" she smiled. I looked down. Of course. She knew.
"You look sad Lisa." She raise my chin. I'm not sad, I'm broken. I chuckled. "It's not Chaeng. I'm not in the mood today. But I'm not sad" I smile. But I know it didn't reach my eyes. She look at me sadly.
"Jennie unnie is really dumb for not knowing about your feelings on her. She's hurting you without even knowing it!" She sighed. I smile sadly.
"Chaeng, as long as Jennie is happy. I am willing to suffer even my own happiness is included. She's dating Kai. Her long time crush. I should be happy for her." I really need to be happy for her.
"Lisa, Confess your feelings to Jennie unnie. Even if she rejected you or what at least you tried and you can finally be free from her heart and move on. Its better to confess than to hide it forever." She hold my hand and smile. Chaeng is really the angel in my life.
"Chaeng, what if--"
"Lisa. Just do it. Stop with the what ifs" I sighed. I don't know.
"Lisa. Gonna go for now. Jisoo is waiting for me" she stand.
"Okie. Take care chaeng Byeee. Thanks." She waved her hand.
I stand and look outside. I'm still here where Chaeng and I met. It's been 5 hours since Chaeng leave me to go to Jisoo unnie. Jisoo unnie and her is in relationship for years. I envy them. They're happy and so in love with each other. While me, one sided love. I walk outside. Cold wind blew my hair. I walk slowly. I look at the sky, admire it like this will be the last time I'm gonna see it.
I walk home. Suddenly someone grab my hand. "Lisaaaaaaaa" Jennie shout.
"Unnie? Why?" I ask.
"Let's watch movieeee. Movie marathon?" She ask.
"I'm busy unnie. There's so many school works an--" she stopped me.
"Are you avoiding me Lalisa?" She ask me. I got nervous. What the hell.
"N-no no Unnie. What?" I look at my fingers.
"Is there a problem Lisa? You keep on avoiding me for weeks. I'm not dumb. Every single time I ask you to come with me, you keep on saying No, then if I talked to you every time you replied shortly. What is happening to us Lisa?!" I got shocked when her eyes became watery.
"U-un-nie." I am speechless.
"Tell me Lisa!"
"I'M FREAKING IN LOVE WITH YOU JENNIE KIM!"
"W-what? Lisa! No no no no. You should not feel that way. I am your unnie. What the hell lisa?"
"Nini. I'm sorry." I sadly reply.
"Jennie? Lisa?" Someone ask.
"Kai?" -Jennie
"Are you guys fighting?" Kai asked.
"No! We're not fighting" Jennie says then she cling on her boyfriend. Heart calm down you already confessed it's okay. You didn't even expect something from her. Sorry heart. Another heartbreak.
"Jennie can we talk privately?"
"Ahmm"-Jennie
"Please" I plead
"Go Nini talk to Lisa. It must be important." Kai softly says then pecked Jennie's lips.
"Jennie"
"You should not tell everyone about that. What would they think? Oh my God Lisa! I'm freaking straight! Damnnn!" My heart almost explode.
"B-but N-ni-ni?" She cut me.
"Just please don't talk. Lisa think? Okay? You're just confused." I sadly smiled.
"It's okay Nini. You don't have to be afraid. No one will know about it. I'm dumb, sick , gay and unwanted girl who's crazy in love with you. Till next time. I'm gonna let myself heal first." I kissed her forehead.
"Where are you going Lisa?" She hold my elbow.
"Just let me go Nini. You don't have to ask. I'm gonna go back if I finally built myself again" I smile while tears are pooling in my eyes.
