My Issues

Enemies?

I have an enemy named Conscience. They have bullied me for years now and every time I try to stand up to them they ruin whatever good thing I have going on. I was perfectly fine with who I was until my 7th grade year. That's when I meet them. They were friendly at first and on the same page as me. They were always agreeing with everything I picked. Then one day they just turned on me. They started telling me all these negative things.

I ignored them and pushed them away. The only issue with that was, how can you get rid of something that is built inside of you to help you function? Conscience lives in my brain and the worse place to stay. I couldn't ignore them when they live in the area that has me thinking all the time. They function my brain so they function what I think of.

I have an imagination called Adventure time. It's what helps me write the stories I do with the character facing mind inflicted problems. The main character's issue are always an issue with themselves that they have to figure out. The main character is always me but with different names and different mind inflicted issues of my own. I may go a bit overboard with adding supernatural ideas but it's my style. Adventure time is the one place that Conscience can't reach. They stand at the door of the portal spreading bad news to the people that are going to enter the portal. As soon as you enter the portal through all those bad rumors evaporate.

The one place that Conscience can and likes to reach all the time is my personality. I can be complex and I am very aware of that. I'm moody and difficult to understand. Welcome to the club though. I'm myself and don't understand me. They love to confuse me and have me question myself. Then they force me to do the opposite of what I really want. I can ever say something I want directly. Instead I'll be repulsive and isolate myself. I told you they were a bully. Don't even get me started on how they physically abuse me.

The worse way they abuse me though is mentally. They know I can't handle mental pain yet that's what they like inflict one me. They're my long life enemy. The one thing that I can say is that I have found a way to compromise with Conscience. You see, they only do this to thing I care about because it's pay back. I let someone hurt me pretty badly when Conscience told me I shouldn't have let them in my head. I think Conscience was affected and so this is showing me how that person abuse them.

The only way that I can agree without Conscience bullying me is when I listen to them on their opinion. We call this deep thinking. This is the only time when I will allow Conscience into Adventure time. We go off on little adventures of "what if's" where we make a note of the pros and cons of an issue. If we come to agreement then Conscience will allow me to do as I wish without bothering me until I do something they didn't agree to.

So now when I'm about to do something I confront Conscience to decide if it's a good option to do or not. I want to always make the right choice for me and for everyone else. You can always tell when we have a disagreement on something important because I'll be more to myself and I won't do much. It's just my way of solving something important. Now I make it sound like we are best friends or maybe that's what I meant to say in the beginning. A constructive but not friendship.