I’ve always wanted to write this article but haven’t had the time and the inspiration to do so. But since I have ample time now, I will try to remember all the things I did to get over a few of my break-ups.
As you already know, I had three ex-boyfriends before I met my husband. The first one was when I was 17, the second when I was 30 and the third when I was 31.
I think getting over break-ups get harder when a person gets older. Why? Maybe because when they are older, they are more serious, there are more things that they have invested, more things they have sacrificed, more people have been involved, and more dreams have been shattered? Mmmhh. Maybe!
Getting over it also depends on the person’s self-esteem. Because I believe that when two people break-up, when one leaves, the other person puts a whole inside the other’s person’s heart. That heart needs to be filled again by God, by family, friends, someone o r something. It really depends on to whom you put your self-esteem or worth. Is it in God or in man?
They say that there are five stages of healing: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I believe I have gone through all of that.
How to get over a break-up based on my experience? These steps are kind of funny, which is really the intention of the article: to find humor in something that is very sad. Hehe.
Here are some of the things you can do (not in order of importance)…
Change your mobile number. This is quite hard to do especially since we live now in a world that everyone is connected. But once you’ve been successful in changing your mobile number, make sure na wag na wag mo syang ite-text in the middle of the night pag nalulungkot ka na. Panindigan mo Te. Hehe. It would also help if you tell all your roommates to remind you na wag itext ang mokong mong ex-bf. Sabihin nating nag-iba ka na ng mobile number, siguraduhin mo rin na hindi mo memorize ang number ng ex mo. Try to memorize other numbers and never think about his number again. After a few months, makakalimutan mo rin.
Delete or Block in all Social Networks. As I’ve said, medyo mahirap itong gawin. But this will help you big time. Make sure deleted din lahat ng family members nya or friends nya. Especially those friends na hindi mo naman tlaga friends before you got together. Unfair naman sa kanila? Hindi ah! Tama lang yun. Kasi wala na rin naman purpose ung friendship with his family. Baket pa? Masasaktan nyo lang ung mga future gf/bf nyo! And most probably, yun din ang gusto ng family at friends nya & vise-versa.
Avoid places you usually go to with him. Lalo mo lang kasi sya maalala and you might rationalize the break-up kasi you're hurting. Avoid the places para ma-erase din sya sa memory mo. But i know some people they deliberately do the opposite, kasi daw mas na-i-immune sila dun sa pain. Either way, it's really up to you.
If you live alone, then this is the best time to go back to your family’s house, kahit temporary. I live in Makati ever since I started working. When my ex and I broke-up, I called my parents and asked them if they can fetch me coz I’m coming back home. Every day, I travel from Cavite to Makati and vise versa. This step really helped me a lot because my mind was so occupied with travelling. I had to get up at 4am, be at the bus station at 5am and be in the office at 7am. After office, I had to go straight back home to beat the traffic. Pagdating ng haus, almost 8pm na. Kaya I’m so dead tired to think about my ex. Ang bonus pa dyan is I get to see all my pamangkins, which is a theraphy. They really make me happy ^_^
Read books. I know that not everyone loves to read books, but it’s worth a try. You can start reading books about understanding break-ups like “He’s not that into you” (which I think is very honest and true), and “It’s called break-up coz it’s broken” (this book will help you not rationalize the break-up). Then you can move into “Captivating” to understand women, then “Wild at Heart” to understand men. After all that understanding, you can now move into reading books about the one who loves you unconditionally.
Buy something new. Well, this is really depends on your budget. Make sure you don’t just “swipe” or else baka ma-heartbroken ka when the bill comes. Maybe simple things lang, like a blouse, a bag or a sandals. But if you have the budget, then go ahead….buy a new Mobile, a PSP, IPAD or DSLR. hehe
Get a new look. Maybe a slight color in your hair or a trim or a new style. But NEVER cut it short. Not yet. Maybe after a few months when you are a bit okay. Hehe
Go out with Friends. This really helped me a lot but make sure you find good friends na dadalhin ka sa tama at hindi sa mali. Get good counseling. You are blessed if you can find friends who will be honest to you and at the same time doesn’t scold you kapag naririndi na sila sa paulit-ulit mong kwento about your ex. I have two great friends (Chel & Jovy) who decided to text me to remind me how pretty I am. One will text me in the morning and one in the afternoon. Hayz. Sovra touch ako sa love nila for me. :D
Focus on your work/studies. Eto medyo mahirap gawin coz some people really can’t work when they are in pain. But if you are the type na kaya mo, then focus ka lang muna sa work. Work and work until mapansin ka ng boss mo at ma-promote ka. Bongga dba? Hehe
Find a new Hobby. Marami kang pwedeng pag-pilian, you can get into sports, into writing articles or poems, create a blog, get into photography etc.
Travel. This one is quite expensive but is a sure ball. Hehe. Travelling will boost your self-esteem, not only because you can say that you can afford to travel, but It can also make you realize that you are blessed or lucky compared to others. You will also be amazed at meeting new people, seeing a different culture, hearing a different language. Yun lang, medyo nakaka-adik ang travelling. Hehe
Go to church and pray a lot. This is the best step that you can do because God is the only one who can fulfill you, comfort you and make you whole again.
After doing all these steps, I was able to move to acceptance after three months. Sympre iba iba naman ang tao. Some people mas matagal, some people mas mabilis. One day you feel na okay ka na, one day you will feel hindi na naman pala. hehe. Just be patient. It will come at the right time. But getting over a break-up really depends on how much you wanted to get over it.
Break-ups! Part yan ng buhay eh! But sabi nga ng husband ko, “wise are the people who learn from their mistakes. But wiser are the people who learn from other people’s mistakes”
Be patient. Listen to godly counseling. Ask God for the right person.
