I listen to the serenading sounds of Suicide Silence while I wait for death to take me away forever. I suppose this place is quite peacful if you think about it, I am a little over a mile from my house and in a small clearing in a forest. I only have my phone, headphones, and a bottle of sleeping pills of which I have taken twelve. As I think back on why I'm here a picture I see a scene of bad descions; this had happened about a year ago, I had almost gotten expleled, my bestfreind called me a bitch, and on top of all that my boyfreind cheated on me with some random whore.
The day that that all happened I got my pencil sharpener and took out the blade, before I took the blade to my arm I thought about what had happened and what would come of it and, I just didnt care enough to think about the aftermath. As the blade hit my arm I felt a tiny release from the world so I did it again and again until I relized that my arm was dripping blood on my sheets. After that I said that I would control it, but like so many others before me I couldn't, after one you want anther and another, it became a war between the blade and me. You become to the feeling of release and you just cant stop. A while after that I hit a vein and had to go to the hospital, there I met so many people who told me to stop, it just wasn't enough. You could see in ther e eyes that they didn't want you to be around anymore.
At this point I was getting worse by the day, once I even cut at school. I was getting sloppy, cuts were starting to become harder to hide. What had started as a single a baby cut turned into what I had promised myself wasn't going to happen. Self harm is just as much a drug as cocaine, what starts out as one little dose at a party turns into taking as much as you can with over doseing. You just cant stop yourself after a while. On March 3rd I hit a vein again, but this time I wanted to, this was my first suicide attempt. My parents found me on my bed with a deep cut on my wrist, they took me straight to the hospital. When I got there the Doctors stopped the bleeding and did something else, my parents never told me what they did.
After they said I could go my parents sent me too some recovery group with other kids that had attempted suicide, while I was there I was again told that I was better than that and that people cared, I always just nodded my head and moved on, I knew they didn't give a shit about me. During my time thereI met a girl that was ony eleven, she had tried to hang herself, I saw how sweet she looked and thought about how messed up her life must be to try and end it. At this point I was ready to be dead, since it didn't work this time I was going to try again and again until I
After all of that I thought I would have lasted longer, but here I am, listening to Suicide Silence in the woods waiting for death. I wish I had never picked up the blade, I wish I could go back and st...
THE END
