Wanderer

47 - Fight for Me

Jade

For the rest of the afternoon, Daeron occupied the rest of my thoughts. I'd made him promise to stay awake, fearing that if he slept, he'd never awaken. Even though, it took several more kisses for him to let me go.

It was a general bustle outisde of Lindon's palace, the dead being buried, horses stabled and fed, weapons repaired, and wounds tended. I took my quiver and bow and sat in the sun outside the armory, trying to restring my bow and make sense of it all.

It really bothered me, as I wrestled with my bow, that the line between Dae living and dying was so thin that I had the power to sway him. 

"Jade."

I looked up. Elrond stared down at me with an expression I couldn't read. His long black hair was wet.

"Hi." I smiled at him. "It's good to see you."

"Why, Jade?"

"Why what?" I squinted to better see him. 

"Erenion says you were kissing Daeron."

Like Erenion cared.  "El, he's almost dying. He's been through a lot. I want him to live."

"So you can make out with him?" 

Ouch. "No!" Elrond was really annoying me now. I stood up. "El, you're it. Don't worry." Even as I said it, I felt myself falter. It's so much easier to love someone you feel sorry for.

Elrond must have seen it. "Jade, what if it had been me with...say, Indis. Would you be OK with that?"

No. I'd go crazy with jealousy.

I shook my head. "Maybe...maybe we both needed it." I was shocked as I said it. "Maybe I'd do it again, if it kept him alive."

A horrible look came over Elrond's face, a look of utter pain and despair.

"Maybe." Elrond said at last. "Well, Jade, since we're out of a general, I might be able to make it up to you."

El, no! You can't be at the front. 

There I was again, feeling drawn to him because of his pain.

"Dae was stronger than you were." I said.

The pain turned to anger, and then hate. 

"Don't remind me of him. I don't want to remember why I'm doing this."

"No. I mean that if Dae was hurt that badly, then how much more would you be?"

Elrond turned around, shooting me a last, contemptuous glance. "Who cares. If you don't."

"El!" No use. He had already turned the corner.

I swore violently after him, but perhaps wisely, he didn't make a reappearance.  I flung down my bow. "Elrond!"

Suddenly, Erenion was there, grabbing me from behind in a hug. "Jade. It's OK. It's what he wanted."

I almost cried right there. Almost.

Erenion continued. "We need everyone we can get. We're running out of time. If you want, then you can have a spot in the army alongside my men. Or in the Elite, if you wish."

He meant to make me happy, to distract me. It just me realize how near the end was.

"El." I said a last time, then tore myself from his embrace. I  pushed open the door that admitted me to the palace and dashed through the halls. At the split in the corridor between the hospital and the Elite quarters, I paused. Elrond wouldn't have had time to leave yet.  Just as I was about to pursue him, I thought of Daeron lying in the room, darkened because he didn't want anyone to see his tears. 

That, to me, was deeper than Elrond's hasty decision. 

I burst into Daeron's room. "Leave us," I begged of an elvish nurse holding a cup of water to Dae's lips.

"Jade." he said.

"Hey," I answered. 

I sat on the edge of his bed. Daeron seemed slightly better, but I feared it to be a precursor of death.

Time is running out.

"I know Elrond is mad at you." Daeron's expression was tender.

To my suprise, I felt a hard knot of bitterness form in my stomach.

"Honestly, I don't feel that bad that Elrond is upset." I looked towards the door. "I just want him to...I just want you... Valar, I don't know what I want!"

Daeron had raised himself up into a sitting position when I turned back to look at him.

"Are you fighting?"

"Yeah." I let that one sink in. "I am."

Dae's expression was one of pain. "Don't hate him so much, Jade. El's hurting as much as you are. And I...for that matter..." He heaved himself violently out of the bed and just grabbed the nearest thing - me - to keep from falling. Daeron smiled. "Am not." he finished.

"You big joker, if you tthink you're fighitng..." I struggled with Daeron's weight.

"I don't think."

"Obviously." I staggered towards the door.

"I am." Daeron leaned heavily the other way. I pulled on him to keep him upright.

"Yeah, right." I threw my arms around him, stopping his weaving trajectory for the door. "Let's just think about this for a minute. You were hurt last night. You were on death's door this morning. For some reason, you're alive but battered. Three broken ribs, a face that would scare even the Dark One himself, a massive concussion, cuts, bruises? You fell off a wall, Dae. You're in no condition to go do it again."

His grasp on me tightened. "I'll be in any condition you want, whenever you want, but I won't leave you to the mercies of Valthalion. If I show up, it will convince Erenion that things aren't as bad as they seem. He won't feel desperate, and he certainly won't let you fight."

Daeron bent his head. "I love you, Jade. I want you to be happy. It won't be with me. Elrond's too complientary for you to pass up."

"Thank you." I whispered it. 

"One thing." In the brilliance of the late afternoon sun, Daeron was beautiful to me, even more so on the brink of being completely broken. "Grant a dying elf's wish."

"Anything." I meant it.

"Kiss me."

So, for a last time, I did.